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(Ha, that'll keep those with libel in mind happy. or dead)
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Hum... I didnt actually know it was the store's first anniversary until the night before - THEY DON'T TELL US PART-TIMERS ANYTHING. If I hadn't, I'd have been one of those who came in and said : "Er.. Who's birthday is it?"
THEN I would have felt silly. Ahem.
We had face painting! Who doesnt remember how fun it is to have someone splodge on your face? I remember, I always wanted to be something humanely impossible. Or at least something thats impossible for the face painter. I'd be like "I want to be a really rich horse-riding lady" (Hey, I was like seven, all my ambitions were pony-centred. At least I got the rich bit right. And the lady bit..) and they'd be like .. "Errr, how about a MONKEY? Don't you want to be a monkey?"
God, don't you hate it when people fob you off with crappy questions like that? Like answering your question with... a question.... Twats.
Lol anyways, band practice on Thurs. Straight after the Marsworth party which should make things very interesting as its common knowledge that hangovers + loud music and attempts at singing = bad combination.
And I doubt there's enough food in the fridge to feed the five of us. So someone may have to starve. Or we'll eat the bassist. Hmmm....
We also have to choose which songs to cover - so those people that know the InDelirium sound should suggest something. We've already had "Gay Bar" and "Crossroads".
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
The day hath arrived where terror will be unleashed onto the roads and the world that is the Milton Keynes grid system shall be thrown into CHAOS...
You guessed it.
ZOE IS ON THE ROAD.
Lol, my first driving lesson is this friday morning. It's going to be sweeeeet.
And then I'm going to work less than an hour afterwards so if you come into Boots, I will no doubt be saying:
"Because YOU'VE spent OVER fiiiiive pounds - you get this FREE voucher for £5 off SKINCARE for absoluuuuuutely free!"
O_0 (Happy pyschotic face)
Either that or:
"Because you've spent - OH WHAT DOES IT MATTER?! I'm dooomed! I'm going to have to become a permanent CYCLIST!"
O_0 (Sad, doomed face)
Of course there's nothing wrong with cyclists. Mr Skinner is a cyclist and he... oh god.. I can see myself in twenty years. I'm going to have to cycle to wherever I'll be working.. wearing a helmet... (and a suit of course! I don't know what I'm going to be doing, but it'll be a job with a suit)... All the kids will call me "Crazy Cycling Lady" or even just "Look! There's that sad cycling woman who wears a suit!"
I may even join a cyclists club... We'll compare the size of our helmets...
Wait a minute. What am i talking about? I can't cycle!
Lol jk - but I havent ridden a bike anywhere in years! When I was young, I used to cycle to the local shop to buy/eat sweets. But then it went out of business.
And now - well let's just say its been a while.
Anywas, its weird being surrounded by so many people who have ALREADY PASSED. (well done, not bitter/ jealous/ bitterly jealous at all... God, i bet you've all used the line" Ohh, i remember MY first driving lesson"....
Time for the Werthers Originals folks
PS Have fun at Reading.
PPS - Possibility of having a party NEXT WEDNESDAY . Marsworth - you know where its at lol. And yes, of course its going to be fancy dress!!
More on that next time.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
I'll tell you why - you all want to be mentioned!!!
AND IT WON'T WORK!
My main point of this blog was to say a big
- to everyone thats getting results. Whether it be tomoro- for most of you, or next Thurs -for one of you (shut up Shyam, Spangus, DBD, I'm not listening to your lies la la la) I wish you all the best luck in the world.
The luckiest luck.
In fact, myself, being the overlord of all leprechauns, has commanded said leprechaun army to bless all those that read this with their leprechaun goodness.
And tha's something. (/end dodgy irish accent)
(There's a lot of good in those little O's..... Cheerios so good to eat... Dont ask)
And as my fellow Maths people have stated - THERE's ALWAYS RE-TAKES.
It feels like i should be saying farewell... but i wont.
Can you believe we'll be the oldest next year?!
Thats so weird! I still remember coming in as a year 7 - complete with my lopsided haircut and ..... shoes with furry insides. (If i never showed you, all i can say is - be glad.)
So much has happened in the past 6 years - in fact, so much has happened since GCSE (See The Orange Locker for happy post- GCSE results in Vale)
And all i can say is - I'm strangely in my happy grinny mood. And we all know what that means.
("Oh no, not the happy grinny mood! RUN!")
Its been great guys. Whether you'r named or un-named (and of course you'd like to be named right?... RIGHT? - That way you can end up with a name that you could also call your pet slash future child...) much love to you all...
And no, I'm not leaving. No, I'm not drunk but there IS a rather large bird outside...
Also, I'd like to announce that I'm absolutely BRICKING IT for tomoro.
See you then :)
Also, one more point
MyNotSoInteresting quotes in answer to my question
" Anyone know what time we have to come in for RESULTS tomoro?"
"Shit, results are tomoro!"
(TO CONCLUDE and SUMMARIZE - GOOD LUCK TO ALL MY BEANS)
Monday, August 08, 2005
So yes, Episode One- To Catch A Thief.
As much as it sounds like something out of Star Wars, its not an easy business, believe me.
As some of you may know, ever since we opened, Boots ("Beacon Retail" I add as I answer the phone), has been plagued by the plague- causing people that are shoplifters. Blame the area?
Anyway, first Saturday back after my hiatus - how I love that word - and boy everything happened that could have possibly happened.
First of all, the least exciting news, though still fairly exciting.
The following is mainly for MissD who has the time to make up these names with me (jeez we gotta start working maybe?) - There was a blissful reunion as I saw the Sportsworld Grandad (lolol can't be more than 25), who blatantly fancies himself as a bit of a stud- even though he has his name embroided onto his wallet. The news is, nothing's changed. That includes his need to strut in - complete with his "cabbage patch kid" hairstyle...
Anyway - my main EXCITING news of the day, and the stuff I've been just DYING to tell you. Well not really so much - I've just been on this big blog hiatus - great word :) - and should come back with a bang so to speak.
Basically - we caught a shoplifter. Big stylee. "He woz busted innit!" . Oh dear god, stop me now.
Me and MissD are having a gossip with "The King" (as he has now been dubbed) and in walks this shady looking customer. Lol, i love the fact that I can say customer and mean it literally. How hilarious....
RIGHT! This happens quite a bit in the store, "it's Bletchley innit?" (don't smite me lol), so we just kinda watched him. He was carrying this black plastic bag with him.
"Zoe, look at that guy, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Yeah! None of the shops in a 2mile radius have carrier bags like that!"
"Well, I was going to say he looks really dodgy but yours is good too...*sulks*"
What can I say? - I should be a detective... Ha - quite impossible to imagine that without laughing.
Anyway - Mr Shady Looking Customer starts wandering about the make up aisles before making his way to where the big guns are kept. Thats right kids, this one's after the ELECTRICAL BEAUTY ITEMS.
But before we can go over to ask him if he needs assistance (the ultimate deterrent apparently), some old lady comes and plonks her shopping at the till - because of course thats what its here for right?
And I'm not talking a few items here, I'm talking two full baskets! What do old people even do with cosmetics? No Zoe, its not like they need to maintain a healthy level of hygiene is it? (Don't even ask why I'm writing in schizo mode today)
Right - so one basket down and 4 carrier bags later - we see the man make his move. He's heading out of the store, but what can we do? Shout "THIEF" at him? Throw things? Run after him? Rugby tackle him? Go for his knees. Kick to the shins. Headlock. Tag team!!!
But like I said, TWO FULL BASKETS people. Rule Number One - Customer care is a priority. For those who don't quite understand, this means we CAN' T actually abandon a customer at the till to go and beat someone down. Unfair as it may seem, those are the rules..
Of course seeing as me and MissD were two tillgirls otherwise engaged, this is where "The King" came in.
In one swift move he taps the offender on the shoulder. The thief tries to make a break but receives a royal cuff to the head. Still trying to escape, The King merely twists the offenders arm behind his back, before frog marching him back into the store. Score.
At this moment in time, everyone stops. And stares. In the street outside, people getting out of their cars, stop. The bypassers on the pavement stop to gawp. The customers waiting in line are silent. The very last item of Basket No 2 drops.
The world simply stopped.
And all that could be heard amongst the hushed whispering and mumurs was the perp issuing expletives, accompanied by the occaisional "innit".
I lean over to MissD.
ANd then its over. The birds start singing and the endless "beep" at the check out starts again.
"That'll be Eighty-Five Fifty madam, and you'll also get a free voucher for £2 off Digital and Film Processing at Boots, valid til the 13th September.."
All we had to do now was wait for the policemen to come and pick him up. But my dear friends, that's another story...
Just goes to show, crime does NOT pay. Mmkay?