*Names have been changed (slightly) to protect identity
Feedback accepted graciously (no violence involved, i swear)
Disclaimer: All events and proceedings related to this site are fictitious. Any association to current affairs is ENTIRELY coincidental...Completely coincidental
(Ha, that'll keep those with libel in mind happy. or dead)

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Flute Exam today - i am glad to report that i didnt forget the piano accompmt this time!! ... because my teacher thought it would be wise if she brought it instead... YAY!

ERm, it went ok, except in the Scales and Arps where my chromatic on Aflat was .... interesting. I went up and somehow ended up finishing on ...A sharp or something.. Meh, its confusing?! Why cant they just call Aflat, G sharp?! And then there was my haphazard guess on what period this piece was from.
I said "Baroque .. no Classical..."
" ............ *silence* ........."

Oh well, its all done and dusted now. I spent the rest of my day eating viennetta and MnMs.
Has anyone else noticed how some MnMs have a whole peanut in them, and some have half? Just me? OK then ....

Am working on DofE Reloaded as we speak but its not going too good. Its almost impossible to make a sequel that betters the prequel with the exception of Toy STory 2 of course! OooOOooh (*green eyed alien styleee*)

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/30/2004 07:31:00 pm

Monday, March 29, 2004

Ok, so we'v had a day back at school.
Who actualyl came in then out of you miscreants? Hmmm Hmmm?!
Not to name and shame but i saw no Hollis, no SHyam, no Beth Job, no Frazer, no Chrisi *continues into a rant*

And has everyone elses feet just .. EXPLODED?!
I could barely squeeze mine into my pretty shoes!!
LOL me n Elly have decided we are like the LIttle Mermaid when she swaps her tail for legs and every step she takes pains her terribly.

Today there was yet another D of E meeting at lunch. I turned up a lil bit late. My reason? I was asleep. No joke, i had literally walked in the form room after Spanish and collapsed onto the table.

OOOOOOOh Details of next D of E in July.
Weds 21st - Travel by coach and mini bus to deserted camp in Derbyshire. Do an "acclimatization" walk of 8km. (Group 5 will be at "The Homestead")
Thurs 22nd- 16km walk approx. (Group 5 will be at "Dowall Hall Farm")
Fri 23rd- 16 km approx. (Presuming Group 5 are still alive, they will be at "Beresford Lane farm")
Sat 24th- Last 16km (though if we are "Distracted" by the boy group we may end up walking in a big fuck off circle again) Destination is Calton Chapel for the ride back home.

Teachers will be camping at Heathy Roods Farm throught the expedition

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/29/2004 07:03:00 pm

Sunday, March 28, 2004

IM BACK!!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE .............. Owwwwww
It burns it burns!!
lol it feels good to be back though im sooo knackered.
Quick highlights of what happened but not to much as to ruin the D of E diary REloaded lol.
Beth Job got bitten by a mad dog and then electrocuted by a fence. LOL!!
Me n SHyam broke a tent by falling onto it.
We walked , no waded, through piles of ...
We made a wrong turn and went round in circles for an hour - not funny
Laughing at the word- COCKerel
We sang campfire songs with the guitar but alas no campfire - just a candle.
Night Time antics included - hehe, wouldnt want to ruin the surprise, i'll just say Jolyons stomach - Angus' tongue
Greenie giving Drax the spanking of his life
I could go on but i wont.
Oh, and melted chocolate - lots of melted chocolate

I'll let you all think about that. IM sure you'r getting great images in your mind. I'll type it up once iv regained feeling in my fingers - it was rather cold in the Cotswolds.
Also, when i can be bothered. SO nyeh.

ANd for those of you who were participating in Saturday nights events- I HAVE PHOTO EVIDENCE! Including an interesting one of Ward and Martin Wilkins......
Happy thoughts people!

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/28/2004 08:41:00 pm

Friday, March 26, 2004

We are in registration at the moment.
These are the last wishes of Hollis and Zoe before we go on our voyage of discovery and self-disiclpine.
*If in any circumstance, we are trampled by cows, we wish for everyone to avenge our death by becoming patron customers of Burger King - Hollis says veggie burgers....though i know not how that will avenge our death....
*If in any circumstance we are run over by an angry farmer in a tractor, we wish for people to campaign for a "Beware- Angry farmers in Tra'ors" (country accent here please) signs to be put up where necessary.

And now we must go.
God Bless and Goodbye.
Zoe and Hollis
ps, We expect lots of loving text messages on our return- you know who you are!!
Peace the fook out.

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/26/2004 09:05:00 am

Thursday, March 25, 2004

And it is here i sit, with an absurdly stupid hat on my head. It shouldnt be classfied as a hat as it has a large bobble the size of an egg on top. I look like im wearing a tea cosy on my head. Either that or some large exotic bird has migrated to my scalp.
This was the suggestion that my mother made for me to bring on the trip tomoro. I may just bring it on for a laugh.... and to get shot at. LOOK KIDS ITS ZOE HUNTING SEASON!

Well i have finally finished my packing. It took me a good 2 hours. Nothing is as manic as running around the house whilst trying to stop your heavy bag from crushing your stuff. Mine fell over and the house shook. No joke. I ran upstairs as i thought the bed had given way or something. But no, the bag had just fallen over. And crushed my Crisps into nothing but mulch.

Anyways the forescast for the days ahead is COLD. (apparently). I detect another "I CANT FEEL BY DOSE!" saga...

Mr Torpey was in his scary business studies mode today. Apparently he's "nothing compared to pyscho hancock". Care to explain?

Wow i can see the bobble wobbling about my head as i type. Heeeee.
Anyways i shant be typing for a good three days i think and then i shall be working on "D of E Diary returns" for those of you who are interested lol.

BTW check out the D of E pics in the Orange Locker (see left links) as Smooshmoose has added some "interesting" new ones. Blackmailing material yes but interesting all the same.

S'long everybody. I dont expect jammed up shout outs again seeing as most of the regulars, like me, are INSANE and will be sitting in the fields, lying on our backs and watching the cows go by....

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/25/2004 10:05:00 pm

Wednesday, March 24, 2004


For the picture of Ms Milzani, this is the link to the link as promised to the G 1-ers. Enjoy.

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/24/2004 08:47:00 pm
I have discovered the benefits of using Word Thesaurus.
I quote an example from my English essay.
“in a plausible, not esoteric way”
A few hours ago I would have gone eso-what? But its true when they say, you learn something new everyday right?

I have recently returned from Tesco’s after buying all my food for D of E this weekend. I spent over £20 on what is essentially two and a half days. I also purchased 14 packs of jelly as I am the jelly girl for the group. Hey, either that or it was breakfast bar girl or washing up supplies girl. Oh the choices!
To be honest about a week ago I was quite looking forward to the ole d of e. Memories of last year preserved forever in the D of E Diary for those of you who have not read of our escapades.
However now that the D of E is about 2 days away, with the trusty kit check tomoro where undoubtedly everyone will bring forget to bring their things in. OH that reminds me, I have to bring a first aid kit. I'm sure I have a first aid kit somewhere ….. If I don’t I may just have to draw a large white cross and scrawl “FIRST AID KIT” on a box of assorted plasters. With a medicated cushion I’ll have you know.

But yes. The things we shall give up.
On Saturday I could be at the Walkers shindig. LOL last time I remember we were running about around the garden shed, in our underwear. Little did we know that their Grandma lives in the converted barn in the bottom of the garden. Meh, barn, shed, tomaytoe, tomartoe, its an easy mistake to make!
Oh god, she must have gotten quite a shock…..
*sigh* I could be there but nooooo, I’ll be sitting in mud, in the middle of a field trying to make fire by pathetically rubbing two sticks together.

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/24/2004 08:39:00 pm

Monday, March 22, 2004

Oh the joys of French.
Ironically, right after I’d posted (see below) I hear this squeak of what was a mix of terror and bemusement from Danielledoh.
“Oh my god! Theres a guy in our school!”
First reaction was a casual look to the window. Not as quick as a snap run to the window and press your nose against the glass. Honest. Lol
Then we saw the reason why Danielledoh was half covering her eyes.
In the natural world some animals "stake a claim" to a particular space, area, or object by urinating or defecating to mark a particular area as their own.
Said male subject was standing by the opposite wall, facing away from us and erm … marking his territory.

Cue the chaos in the classroom when suddenly the whole class, (that’s all 30+ of us), found ourselves with our faces pressed against the glass, laughing, pointing and jeering (some in French too!)…. And banging on the windows.... And flickering the shutters up and down. God we’r such animals lol

But anyway, the offender turned around and got the shock of his life! One minute there's nothing but silence, and the next there’s a sea of faces pressed against the glass, looking at you psychotically. Lets just say the guy ran off pretty quick. Probably didn’t even do up his flies.

Oooh talking about flies and stuff.
In my French food book, theres this picture of two lil boys. And apparently theyr “poor orphan kids with nothing to eat but bread”. Anyways, this little boy, in his first and probably last chance to be in a book, that will be seen by millions, well maybe not even hundreds, is holding the baguette, looking magnificent and model like ....... with his front door wiiide open.
Oh how we three amused ourselves on the bus. First of all there was the ambitious baby who was trying to fit a whole loaf of bread, bigger than the size of its head, in its mouth. Then there was the man who was making cider with his feet, stinky socks and fag ashes. Then there was Paul Bocuse, the french chef, who was undoubtedly a homosexual rip- off of Mr Bean.... Hmm, Monsieur Haricot le homosexual chef ... kinda has a ring to it non?

*sigh* Oh, there hasn’t been such mirth in French since …… the picture of Monsieur Grand in bed with his knees up!!

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/22/2004 08:18:00 pm
LOL we are in french at the moment. Orals are today.
Iv managed to blag myself an extension til next Monday. Sweet. However thats the day after the D of E so if you see me mumbling in a foreign language to myself on that weekend, im not a raving maniac!! There are sme who think otherwise but .... go away.
The Frenchies are back!!! Iv been communicating with them on a reall random basis. I quote
"Je suis desolee mais l'ecole a un systeme tres ... crap"
"ALYSSA MILANO! ahem, l'actrice? C'est Alyssa Milano? Ahhh"

Just wondering, whoever went on the exchanges - was it worth it? I had so much fun talking to other peoples frenchies - WE WENT ICE SKATING! And i fell over many times but hey. Danielledoh is now correcting my english. Rar. Yes people, this is the same girl that was convinced that there were two Notre Dame's in France.
Oh god a girls just finished hers and has come in all distressed ... I dont want to do it! 15 minutes!!! My planned talk lasts .... 4 minutes and 25 seconds. Maybe if i repeat it ..... Do you think the external examiner will notice?

At lunch some random year sevens were dancing in the rain. No joke, they were doing all the "cotton-eye joe" moves and then it started hailing. lol, the "owww!!"'s and "Aiiiieee!"'s were enough to make my day.
*evil smile*
To quote Smoosh
"There is a god and he smileth down on me!"

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/22/2004 02:33:00 pm

Saturday, March 20, 2004


Pingu extreme has taken over our lives
Currently we have about 6 people fighting to beat the record of 885.8 set by current champion Hollis.

The Canadian.. says:
mine blew up then went backwards !!!!!!!!! what a bastard

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/20/2004 10:43:00 pm
Oh dear god. Biggest event in my day today? Here we go. (Wow, its fun to talk in the third person)

Zoe notices a long clear mark on the surface of her watch.

Zoe tries to rub it off.
It does not rub off.

Zoe tries to wash it off with water.
It does not wash off.

Zoe uses fairy liquid in case it is grease.
It does not come off but Zoe decides to stop, as she is not sure whether her watch is waterproof or not.

Zoe uses surgical spirit to try and dissolve the stain
Zoe stops as the fumes do not smell healthy.

Zoe thinks it is a scratch and tries to scratch it off.
Zoe appears to have made it worse. There are now several marks along the screen

Zoe notices little bubbles appearing under the surface of her watch screen.
Zoe thinks her watch is melting from using spirit.

Zoe washes the watch
Zoe wonders just how "water resistant" the watch is.

Zoe drops watch.
Zoe realises that the glass is peeling away.
Wait a minute...
Zoe looks closely at the screen
Zoe realises that the original plastic cellophane is still stuck onto the watch face
Zoe hits her head.

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/20/2004 08:22:00 pm
I was sitting on the sofa, eating ice cream out of the tub, watching the finale of Sex n the City and crying like a baby because Carrie n Big are soo perfect!
Oh god why do i feel a big kareoke version of "All by Myyself" a la Bridget Jones coming up?
As the night continued, I slumped further and further into the abysss. Well, further and further off the sofa anyway.
My Friday Night. Cos im soo hardcore...

This morning i woke up in the god earthly hours because SOMEONE decided to text me. *points at Shyam-I-Am*

But yes.
Iv been abandoned by los rentals.
I was out in the garden and when i came back in the car had gone. Lol I can just imagine the scene.
"Quick shes's gone outside, heres our chance to escape!"
"I'v got the car keys! Go GO Go!"

Either that or theyve been sucked into a random black hole thats formed in my airing cupboard.
Shall blog more later.
LostProphets are calling me from Q !

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/20/2004 12:04:00 pm

Thursday, March 18, 2004

For those of you who have played the penguin game. Try PENGUIN EXTREME!!!
Im a penguin destroying yeti! Hehe, exploding mines are funny.

But yes. Nothing to blog about today. Apart from the stonking english essay Ms Milzani made me handwrite. Ergh its about 3 pages on the PC and she says i have to hand write it. IN ONE EVENING! :S
There is no God!
Well... there is Ollie.... and then again there are some "god- like year 11's" and Dogbert.
Did anyone else notice how dog is GOD backwards? ALL HAIL GODBERT!

Final Though? What would it be like to be a cornflake?

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/18/2004 09:17:00 pm

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

On a random note:
To the tune of "One man went to mow"



Oh the irony. I put fifteen at first.
Iv decided to not leave my mistake on for all of you to laugh and point at.

Now for the sarcastic shout outs of people who are already of age rubbing it in.
Spoilsports :P

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/17/2004 08:59:00 pm
First and foremost before I forget.
Mrs Ship – Spawn of Satan!!!!
First of all she puts a video about Spirituality and Karma on.
Me and Hollis whisper about the state of the ceiling
“Zoe, stop talking to Hollie”
Some man named Melly talks
Me and Hollis whisper about the fact that something has just dropped on Zoe’s head. We think it is part of the ceiling.
Some woman says how she thinks humanism is atheism yet atheism is not spiritualism but humanism is ...ism.
Me and Hollis whisper about bread
Melly says that he will not be a pawn in someone’s game
Me and Hollis whisper “hehe Porn”

“But I wasn’t talking!”
“Awww I promise I wont say anything else!!”
“FINE! *humph*”

lol, cue the giggling. Georgia usually gets moved. She is winking at me as I pass. I hold my head high and sit up straight at the front.
“Mrs Ship, I cant see if Zoe sits there.” *giggle*
*I slump in my seat and cross my arms* She will be sorry she moved me.

The rest of the video is spent determinedly not looking at the video screen directly in front of me. Instead I look up at the ceiling wondering if anything else will fall on my head. I'm sure that Hollis is doing the same lol.

We are put into groups.
No sooner have I sat down when:
“ZOE! Do you want to work in a group alone? On your OWN? By YOURSELF?
(I am well aware of what the word ALONE means thank you)
The class erupts. This is getting classic.
I humph and hem and turn my back on her.
Minutes later when we are creating posters Mrs Ship comes to see us. I am obviously not doing anything.
I pick up some colouring pencils and determinedly colour in a letter.
I refuse to look Mrs Ship in the eye. Maybe I should fixate on her double chin…
“Ooooh Zoe, those are pretty colouring pencils!” says Mrs Ship.
I look up in disgust. My peers are snorting into their pencilcases.
“Theyr just colouring pencils” *mutter mutter*
But alas, we are “saved” by the arrival of Mr Sinden who then proceeds to threaten me about the D of E before giving us a talk about the spirituality of jam jars – no joke. Jam Jars people, JAM JARS!
What is PSE coming to?

Today was just as “interesting”…..
Well all I can say now is “Oops, I did it again” . or more like “OH FOR FUCKS SAKE I DID IT AGAIN!”
Do you remember, a long while back, a whooole two weeks back! Wednesday March the 3rd. That fateful day where I took a trip into the bush? Well.. more of a rolling trip but yes. Remember that? Lol how could you forget?
Well, I'm glad to say people, I did it again. But this time, with more style.
Crossing Turnfurlong road.
In the middle of the road.
Cars coming at me.
I walked.
I slid.
I fell.
Oh god, it was almost as if it was in slow motion and you hear the long ROOOOOAR as the beast is shot down.
It’s the shoes.
The stupid shoes!
The stupid but oh so pretty shoes!
I like them lots, they are clippycloppy shoes – they rival Ward’s shoes! (Well, actually he has an unfair advantage as his are made of steel)
But yes. I fell. Well, it was more of a “DOOF” as I hit the floor. But no, I did not roll. But yes there was a car coming and I was like hmm, to move or not to move? Seriously, it was one of those, ground-please-swallow-me-now moments. But I would have settled for car-please-hit-me-now-and-render-me-unconscious.
Meh, collapsers cant be choosers. Or something.
But yes. Now I have a really attractive plaster slapped onto my thigh. Its as if someone’s hit me with a sledgehammer … not that that’s happened before. Honestly, it hasn’t. However hitting someone with a sledgehammer …….. ANYWAY!
I went to the medical room and told Mrs Moran what happened. First thing she said was “Not again?!” I was like. Yes. But in the road this time. And not into the bush. And yes, the fit boys did laugh again. But the humiliation wasn’t too bad this time. The pain was just as painful yes. By the way, removing gravel from the back of your thigh is just like tying a sweet to your right hip and being told to follow it anti clockwise.

Pride *checks* Slightly bruised (just like my thigh)
Ego *checks* Hooo biiig chunk taken out of that
Dignity? *checks* Just a bit left. Its been in the wars too many times now.
Confidence? Woooah, there it goes, out the window…

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/17/2004 08:30:00 pm

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

I shall explain tomoro as i am too knackerd and deaded right now. (No thanks to a late night music lesson as my teach had to attend a "seminar" woo)
Nice colouring pencils my arse *mutter mutter*

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/16/2004 09:28:00 pm

Monday, March 15, 2004

For all you lord of the rings fanatics – coming to theatres in 2005 will be The Lord Of The Rings- The musical!
No joke.
The £8m production would be the most expensive musical ever seen in London and would last three-and-a-half hours plus the cast of 50 to play Orcs, Elves, Hobbits and Wizards.
Wow imagine the auditions for that!
Actually the Buffy musical episode was rather dude though SMG did sound like she was just saying the words and Dawn was on helium. The musical Simpsons, oh the source of many a random burst-into-song. LOL I’d be humming quietly to myself and before you know it, the whole class is singing
“See my vest! See my vest! Made from real gorilla chest!” and tap dancing like loons.

Ergh at the moment I'm am finishing what is undoubtedly the most mind numbingly distracting coursework in the world. I was meant to be finding Childrens logos and products and I end up playing a random game with penguins for 10 minutes. (btw it’s a great game, you’r a yeti!)
But yes. I was meant to have finished this cw last tues. However as a class we managed to get extensions until tomorrow. I have been a silly cricket and used none of this extra time. *hits head*

There is one benefit to textiles though. Well, apart from the exposure to as many sharp objects as you want (scissors, needles, pins, sewing machines, crayons). We get to leave the lesson to go to the computer room, to go to the storeroom, to go to the library, WHATEVER!
This is the reason why many a Textiles lesson has been spent outside the Food Tech room dancing up and down like a looon. Apologies to Stride, Nicodemu, Jo, Emming, Caraa, Chisel and whoever else Iv distracted by pressing my nose on the glass and crossing my eyes. *halo*
I was bored ok?

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/15/2004 08:01:00 pm

Sunday, March 14, 2004

Wow iv just realised something. We are pretty much like sheep sometimes.
Many of you may have recieved the follwing meesge tonight on MSN
Put [x] at the start of your MSN name as a mark of respect to everyone who died in Madrid. Send this to everyone on your contact list.

Many of us did so (including me) as many of us are nice boys and girls who are truly shocked by the recent events in Madrid. However. A while later many of us discussed this X epidemic rationally and we decided to take them off as apparently someone out there would be boasting of their power.... true power really... making everyone on MSN put a cross in front of their names...
So we took them down. Many messages were made to the person who started it.

MR/Mrs X Epidemic starter. However good your intentions may be chain thingys are not the way to make peope show their respect. So in response to this, PEOPLE OF THE WORLD remove your X's! And type "BELLYS GONNA GET YA" 55 milllion thousand times and send this to all the first born children in your contacts otherwise the evil jelly leprachauns will get you when you are sleeping. (NB Insomniacs need not apply)

Hehe leprachauns, though i am liking a certain someones
Dear X bloke - fuck off or die

But yes. This "talk" resulted in a mass removing of X's.
Just made me realise. Take one small thing like that, that questions your morals, your rep and your ethics and BINGO - we'r transformed into lemmings, sheep, the Tony Blairs of George Bush's world if i was to go off on a political bashing angle. But i wont.
My point? Im not really sure. Put an X in front of your name if you want or do nothing. Either way we shouldnt note each other for following or not following the crowds because in the end its not a big deal i guess. I should show respect in my own way. Not because someone tells me to.
And that kiddies is the lesson i have learned tonight.
(Plus Ardennes is in France- MY PARENTS WERE WRONG!!!!! *laughs manically*)

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/14/2004 09:02:00 pm
Hmm I have nothing much to blg about today so I thought, hey I’ll blog after dinner.
Contrary to my disgust that a lot of people think I eat roast duck, pancakes and egg fried rice every night, tonight I had roast duck and pancakes and egg fried rice.
May I add it says serves 6 on the packet but hehehe, not in THIS household. We all managed to consume everything but the packaging. All three of us.
I had two bags of popcorn whilst watching Brother Bear today. (Its a dude film I CRIED! Its a bit like Ice Age what with all the talking animals and cavemen and spears - and ice, theres a lot of ice.) Oh god it’s a wonder I'm not obese.
Apparently according to Hollis, one day I will wake up and I’ll be fat. I quote
“Wow, wouldn’t it be cool if like one day like, you got up and it was like WHOOMPH!”
Yes Hollis. Cool indeed….

Thought of the day.
Why does pate cause such a conflict in my household?
Subject – Ardennes Pate
I think Ardennes is in France.
They think Ardennes is in Belgium.
I know for a fact that Ardennes is in France because I'm doing French food for my French oral and I'm speaking for 15 minutes about all the different regions and all that jazz. Oh its so great when I can rub in my superior intellect in their face. That rarely happens because there will ALWAYS be a reason why they are wrong. Even if there’s only a really tiny possibility of that reason actually being realistic.
However, this time was different.
I went and got the offending pate product and showed them the packaging where it was marked “PRODUCT OF FRANCE”
But nooo that was not good enough for them, it could have been “a printing error”.
*shakes head sadly*
But people must be corrected. *evil smile* (Dontcha just love putting your rentals in their place?)
I went and got my French book and read (in my newscaster voice)
“This industrial region in North France is well known for potatoes, hops, wheat and chicory. Potatoes are an important part of the diet in Ardennes, as in neighbouring Belgium-“
“SEE! Its right near Belgium! That’s what we said!”
“No, you said it was IN Belgium”
“*pause* Maybe there’s an Ardennes in Belgium? Where they make pate. Because you didn’t mention-“
“Thrushes and wild boar are hunted in this area and the game is turned into pates and roasts”
“*pause* Are you sure there isnt an Ardennes in Belgium?”

*hits head*
When will people give up?!

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/14/2004 07:43:00 pm

Saturday, March 13, 2004

Films i have seen recently (ie Today - i lead an interesting life duh)

The Lion King 1 and 1/2
No its not called Lion King 3 its 1 and 1/2 ! And it kicks official butt. You have to have seen the first lion king though to understand it as a lot of it is a spoof of the first one. For example, Timon is trying to talk about the hierachy of the animals
"See, lions eat us, hyenas eat us"
"But dont lions become grass? And dont we eat the grass?"
"No, we'r grass intolerant"
LOLOLOL i love the music for that bit when Mustafa is giving Simba the "talk" and he's like a giant cloud thing. Like wooah.

X Men 2
OMG too cool for words. I want to be a mutant!! Despite the film being oh so cool, theres still another obvious reason why we all love it. Let me hint. Iceman, Pyro, Cyclops, Wolverine = FITTIES oh yeah, dont forget Professor Xavier ... wooo *waves flag* BUt yes. Im loving the line
"Lets just say i know a little girl that can walk through walls"
Plus, we'v decided we want to see more of Collossus - the guy that turns himnself into metal. Duuuudish or what? Plus hes topless.

Finding Nemo
I saw this one a while ago and OMG, it still officially rules. We are NOT getting over the "Duuuuude" and the "Jellyman!"
Oh i want to be a turtle
LOL, i want to be a turtle AND a mutant. I can be a Teenage Mutant Heroine Turtle!!! And like live in the sea! And have like an Australian accent.

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/13/2004 08:58:00 pm
11S girls, apparently we'r in The Bucks Herald and The Thame Gazette about that tree planting thing! LOOOOL
I havent even heard of The Thame Gazette and i dont get The B Herald either - im an MK Citizen gal of course!
But oh god, i hope they got us posing!!! So funny! We saw the photoman aka a photographer and we all decided to look up at the sky intstead of smiling at the camera.LOL i was pointing up at the clouds going "LOOK! A unicorn!"
So there may be these random 6 girls on the edge of the big group of about 40 looking up at the sky in delirium.
ward says i have a pained expression on my face. No Ward, thats my usual look lol
But yes. To cut a long story short.
The tree got planted. We were staring at the sky. Next thing i know i have people coming up to me going "You were in the paper" - and this time not for unappropriate behaviour. Wooooo. Improvement
LOL the hilarity - i cant reemebr who it was but they commented on the apparent "weediness" of the tree and was like why cant they plant one like .. that one!! *points at large oak tree*
Honestly lol. And we were like, you cant just plant those!
But she had a point, our tree didnt even have a leaf! Well.. i guess it was still winter officially.... but yes

I am currently in a blog race with Captain Cassar. You can tell by the quality of my spelling and grammar. He hsa nothing to blog about so i lent him my favourite subject. POTATOES!

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/13/2004 07:54:00 pm

Friday, March 12, 2004

MSN is being a gay mothertrucker and not signing me in.
Hmmm i wonder what it would be like to be a trucker. Trucking must be fun. All day, all night. Truck this, truck that, truck truck truck. But id much rather be Prime Minister.
Hehe, im going to start off a load of disdainful shoutouts now arent i? "Zoe, the day you become Prime MInister will be the day that people decide to stop living life as we know it" etc etc Oh well. I'll pass for the "richest person in the world by not doing anything" job.

Today, i learnt something neeeew.
"Did you know Zoe that one Mars Bar contains the total amount of daily recommended calories?"
"Really? I ate two."
But isnt the total calories per day like 2000 for a woman?

Actually after a spot of research on the interrrnet i found out that one Mars bar ONLY contains 234 calories so nyeh!
Now to add up two Mars Bars, a pack of crisps, a BLT panini, a bread roll (which was soggy - i am not very happy about that), a chocolate roll and some caucasian cake. Plus real meals too lol.
Meh Maths is not my forte anymore. Iv decided that im officially going to do rubbishly in my Maths exam as i do not understand much more than 2+2=5
Plus my English exam is going to benefit from my extremely ... interesting vocabulary seeing that i invent new words everyday - in Spanish too.
I quote
"Steph is a pair of meeseses (mooses)"
"Bueno four leaf clover-o!"
"Unafortundamente" etc etc

Ah well, if our GCSEs are screwed we'r all off to posh departments stores to wile away our hours. Lol Crellis has a job at Marks and Sparkies loooool (sohwee *halo*) AND apparently, iv heard that Jake has made assistant supervisor/manager though i dont trust my sources (Mark Chan) But yes.
Iv officially made my choices now for A level- Comms, Eng Lang/Lit, Maths, Economics and General Studies!
LOOOL The look on Mrs T's face when i said i definately wasnt doing Music for A level. Oh we'll miss her daft ways. For a little while anyway...

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/12/2004 08:02:00 pm

Thursday, March 11, 2004

House Netball today - I DIDNT FALL OVER!! No scars this time!! Lol, i have got two remaining scars from the past two years when iv played and fallen over. YAY! THE CURSE HAS BEEN LIFTED! AND!!!
We won two whole games!! WOOOOOOOOOAR! That beats the last time when we only just won one - i think. Collapsed on the sidelines i figured out thats a 100% increase. Oooooh improvement!!

IN PE, we are doing Aerobics. LOL we watched the “funky” aerobics video with the “funky” music. LOLOLOLOLOL!!! First of all we had preppy smiley woman who made us tone our bums and tums. Then we were taught so many different moves such as “Funky Chickens” and box steps whilst juping and gyrating your hips a la Grease when they go “a wellah wellah wellah HUH! Tell me more…”
HILARIOUS RESULTS! All 30 of us where jumping around and generally making prats out of ourselves. And then we got hit by the FREESTYLE!!! LOOL we had no idea what to do as the suggested method of “Freestyling” was undoubtedly from somewhere between the 70’s meets the Tweenies.
But yes. We just waved our hands in the air like we really didnt care - we were too tired to actually give a damn about how we looked. But Harisett has some incriminating pictures god damn her! lolol.
Then Scottish man came on and was like all enthusiastic. Ergh. I was like "someone get me the shotgun" However he was wearing tight lycra shorts which had us in fits. AND his fringe was too long so it kept bobbing about like the way that a nodding dog does. Hehe fringe. But seriously, by the end of the extreme "funky" workout i could feel my six pack forming (though apparently we can only get four). LOL Conclusion?
Beth is now (Bums n) Tum Jones LOLOLOLOL and as for me and my new improved abs?
Well tonight Matthew im going to become Peter Wongdre! :D

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/11/2004 08:57:00 pm

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

You destroyed my lunch!!!!!!
After going to Tescos with Group 5 to "discuss" what we would be buying and stuff for our D of E i came out with a large bag of cereal and two slabs of chocolate to supplement my lunch.
After happily eating my way through about a third of my cocoa pops (Look mommy no spoon!) and taking large chunks out of Bethjobs breadstick, not to mention all the other items of snackage, we found ouselves outside the gates with some "delightful" members of our so called "crew" lol
I shall explain. Ryan, Foster, Lane and Car(o)l - the she-devils from hell decided to have a nice cereal fight. The rest of my well deserved lunch ended up either on the floor, or in my hair, or down my back, or in their FAT STOMACHS!!! I mean... Well actually, Foster doesnt have a stomach - he's so unprodabble. Hehe imagine me with a belleh!
But anyway, we spotted newly united Rosbee and SlowOne together.. doing what they do best. Meh, my appetite went :P
But yus, before all hell could break out, me n shyam decided to go and say hello! And then we did a dance and i threw coca pops in the air and now theyre married! (because cocoa pops are in fact rice are they not?)
But yes. Im sure that was taken down very well. *halo!*
I was very disgruntled about the fact that most of my cereal was strewn on the floor - yes, all 60 pence of it!! lol. Though i have to say it made a very satisfactory crunching sound when you jump on it. Heee crunch!
I have learnt my lesson. Dont even think about offering your lunch to she-devils because all they will do is throw it back in your face - literally

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/10/2004 08:10:00 pm

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

LOL The Ms Milzani quote of the day.
Theese poem is by Tony Harrison. I think it’s a he. Is it a he? *reads further* Yes. I think that in this case Tony Harrison is a man.
Muchas gracias to Dickson today who has repaid some of her chocolate debt to me! :D:D:D
Also, and I'm sorry to have to do this but you know you love it lol.
“Rosie and Charles, Rosie and Charles, chugging along in the Old Ragdoll”
Yes, apparently, the words are “chugging along” though Rosie may have been kidding…. I don’t know. Neither me or Hollis knows the words to the theme tune so our version “Rosie and Charles, Rosie and Charles, something something something, the old Ragdoll” was more original.

Tomorrow Mrs T wants me to stay in at Lunch and record some music stuff – apparently what iv handed in seems to be something iv tossed off at breaktime. That’s strange. I would notice if that was missing… lol But yes. I shall now change the subject.

Mrs Ship. Whats with her?!?! First of all its that freaky double double chin she has. And then the look she gives us – it’s a mix between constipation and pain. Perhaps its both. Lol well she does have to try and teach our class about Ethics lol. Good luck with that!
First of all she showed us a Boy George documentary which was supposedly “spiritual” and then we listened to the “Just show your truuue colours, shining through” song and I joined in by whispering “like a rainbow!“ just like the girl does. And somehow that changed into the skittles advert. “Taste the rainbow” – NOT “Feel the rainbow” – I don’t know what kind of skittles Hollis has been eating!
But yes, talking about how a song or something is meant to do this or that really gets me.
When in like English when you read a poem and its like “The poet was feeling tired when he put this word here” or “There are three s’s in this word – the poet did this to prove that he was actually a member of the socialist union or whatever.
What I don’t get is when you have to say how they were feeling and comment on their cleverness when they “deliberately” put in alliteration at the end of the longest sentence in the last stanza. What if its all just one big coincidence?
But yes. I'm starting to rant now. Its because nothing that humiliating has happened to me recently. Yet. Oh god, I say that and next thing I know, I'm falling into a bush.

PS we have concluded that on Sunday – MR Sinden was in fact wearing a smock.

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/09/2004 07:51:00 pm

Monday, March 08, 2004

Yum Strepsils are nice.
My throat is like sandpaper, im getting deja vu from the last time i sounded like a man.
I think its because i'v been shouting too much. Our class has been labelled as creators of "mass hysteria"
The staff at AHS wised up to us and placed our form room directly opposite the staff room so now we cant slam our door shut and blame it on another class.

I have been informed by Mr Sinden himself that there will be no staff on the sites in the evenings.... Is that relaly wise? Not that im complaining but a large group of unsupervised teenagers. Highly temperamental, hormonal, violental and stressed-al. SWEET! I suggest midnight litterpicking like last time :P lolololol

Also there shall be a new D of E diary of course. If anyones actually looking forward to that lol Last time we broke all the country codes. This time, we're out to get arrested! STREAKING TIME! lol

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/08/2004 09:40:00 pm

Sunday, March 07, 2004

The D of E Saga has begun.
Today was the training thing ma jig.
We have now drawn our routes which were COINCEDENTALLY exactly the same as the one already drawn on our maps by their previous owners. What a coincedence.
Me n Bethjob relived memories of Hook, possibly one of the most dudest films ever to grace the Earth. I quote
"Rufio, Rufio, Rufi- OHHHH!" and i must add she does the most splendiferous impression of Hook with, "I want a cookie, i want a sweetie, its all me me me, mine mine mine" Hey all she needs now is the beard.

BTw, our groups been rechristened Group 5 and we'r thinking of new trademarks songs instead of "Group 11, will we walk it?" (to the tune of Bob the Builder)
WE'r actually considering singing 5ive songs instead .... ok, maybe not.... slam dunk da funk.... oh god i have the greatest hits album from about 4 years ago.... So does Greenie by the way.
*succeeds in diverting attention from herself*
BTw we'r staying the first night at Hayway Farm for those of you who want to put as much space between me and my matches/knives/sugar and yourself as possible

LOL Mr Sinden was lecturing our Group about trangias and fire and stuff and me, Elly n Beth who were late ran up behind him. Cheekily we stuck our fingers up behind his head much to the amusement of the rest of the group. And then we realised he could see our reflection. Ooops.

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/07/2004 09:57:00 pm

Friday, March 05, 2004

House Music concert. LOLOLOL the most eventful house event that iv actually been to. First and foremost, I have never been much of a house event participant – except house challenge and dance purely because I can act like a prat in both and get away with it. House Music is now, no longer any exception. I was given THE most important job of “lead off-erer” (the person that leads everyone off at the end) I had to time it just right – not before the clap, not to long after. A wise man in Spiderman once said “With great power comes responsibility”

After watching half of Toy Story (We can lip sync to the words!!) we went to the Noodle Bar – like the other 5 houses did. Complete full house. LOL we were the smallest house there with only 9 people as a load had decided to go home first or whatever. Everyone else had like 30 strong but we were standing proud with our 9 (and we probably ate more than the 30)
Afterwards we were stuffed with …. noodle and who did we meet on our way back but my beautiful man slag who’s about to go to the gig at the Civic? I, as always, had overeaten (hey they say its one portion so I had one! Not one between two like Kt n Alexa who are pusses) But yes. I proposed McFlurry’s all round at Maccy D’s but would they listen?

Anyways, a looong while later, the whole thing is underway and we’r standing at the back of the hall doing the Time Warp. And then I spot dear old dad joining in. Oh the hilarity. Minutes pass, we’r still Time Warping, my toes get crushed. Someone gets elbowed in the face. What can I say. It was an accident! Lol. I am anointed the Chair person. I have to lay chairs when there arent enough. I successfully knock over a large stack. Score.

Time goes by. Minutes of boredom are spent listening to music being played again, and again and again…….. Then INTERVAL!!! WOOOOOOOOOOAR. BISCUITS!
I'm called over by Mrs T as I'm the only one she that knows from her music classes (because she lectures us so often.) I was asked to get the cups and stuff from the office… I am faced with a difficult choice. To fix or not? However she comes after me and I have to be a good girl. A few minutes later, after arranging the cups nicely on a random table (Yes that was MY work!) I realise there is a sliiiight problem with the cups.
The ribbons are the wrong colour. These are probably last years ribbons. So we change them but alas, we need one more purple ribbon. (Congrats to Hughenden btw)
Mrs Thomspon runs to her office to find ribbons as the interval is nearing an end.
“What colour do you need?”
“Purple, Mrs Thompson”
“I have RED!!”
“Purple, Mrs Thompson”
“Green? I cant find any green!?”
“Sorry, I’v only got purple”

The ribbons are replaced, everything is hunkydory. Then comes the singing stuff (they put us at the end)
Goes ok, apart from a load of imperfections we can point out but wont because thats mean right Dickson? Most importantly I SANG HUMP! (hello Mars Bar) HUMP HUMP HUMP! (Hello snickers bar) I even receive the look from Foster!! (HELLO MALTEASERS! PS Thankies Foster, I shall share later lol)
Even Hoskins, who is sitting in the audience notices and she suddenly sits up and grins. I see her. I see Foster. I see Machete. I see Kinkylicious. I am this close to laughing. I lose my place and begin to mime. (hey if Britney can do it…)
But yes. IT finishes. We receive tremendous applause. It is now my moment to shine as I start to lead off. I'm walking. I'm going. I'm up the stairs. I'm being followed. And then.
I'm stopped.
Mrs Thompson steals my moment and wants to say a few words. (If “few words” means “lengthy sermon”)
I sit back down, defeated. The house captain made me go through it about 6 times!!!! And all for nothing! Baaaaaaa.

And so ends the saga. Now no extra music work for me!! Mwahaha, all it took to make Music even more of a doss was some free food and permission for me to sing random words. Next year, that’s me organising it……… oh god, that’ll be the day.

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/05/2004 10:45:00 pm

Thursday, March 04, 2004

May i add.
According to the comments of two little boys i know. Mr Spangus and Mr Slow One.
Today i looked like a golfer, on the game. And no, not a game of golf, The Game. lol.
Thanks guys.

Plus, some random person i dont know came up to me and asked if i was ok, from the "fall". At first i was like what? And then she said "The bush" and i was like oh god.... Yeah.... *fleees*

Why does it happen to me! lololol.
Oh well, times like these, all you can do is laugh i guess. Go on, i know you want to.....
Wise words from Nick here:
"Remember everything you can, the worst thing you can do is to forget it"

(why do i get the feeling i'll be telling this to a pyshciatrist in ten years?)

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/04/2004 09:17:00 pm
Hehe, I saw this today in an email from Lelimo and I have to say I felt it applied to the phenomenon that is the “Bay B Crew” as we have such been named.

Friends, you and me .... You brought another friend ... And then there were 3 We started our group .... Our circle of friends ....
There is no beginning or end ...

I'm bored so I'm actually going to count how many people we have…..
*some time later*
About 40 strong. Not to mention about 9 honorary afternoon members. Bejesus. And this all spouted from the “Haddenham Nine”
But yes, there appears to be no end. Its growing everyday ..... like a potato (did you know that theyr asexual?LOL)

Potatoes are brown.
Potatoes are round
Are you the top potato around town?

Hmm. I dont know. Im just going to blame a certain someone whos just rung me. LOL i sound like Hicksy starting with the "self-indulgent crap" again. I shall stop.

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/04/2004 08:50:00 pm

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Quick note.
That red dot on my eye? YES THAT IS THE HAMERORARAGE!
LOOOOL i quote
"That the haemorarahagey thingy?"
"LOOK isnt that that thing you blogged about?"

YES IT IS! STOP ASKING ME! ITS like "Zoe, you know that subconjucntival haemorhage you were talking about? The one you woke up with on Saturday morning? The one that will take a short while to dissapear? THe one thats like a bruise?"
"Is that the subconjucntival thing? How did you get it? When did you get it? How long will it take to go? What actualy is it?"

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/03/2004 08:55:00 pm
Many things to talk about today.
First and foremost – I'm an idiot (I hear you saying - tell us something we didn’t know! …. Shut up. Lol)

WOOOOAR! See Disney DID work thank you very much Mr …. Oh my god iv completely forgotten what Angus’s surname is …… MR SPANGUS! But yes.
Cant wait til Friday – those chocolate bars are MINE! (Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine comme la seagull in Finding Nemo)

But yes. Now for the more interesting news of today. And when I say interesting I do mean humiliating. Why oh why do I do it? Well, if you cant get a kick out of life, watch it kick someone else.
Well, actually, I should rephrase. Let it kick someone else so that she falls down the slope by the gates and rolls into a bush and then LAUGH. Like those nasty boys and girls did when the exact same happened to me today. LOL oh dear god it was funny…. Painful yes. Embarrassing yes. *cries*
But I got up slowly. And with as much pride as I could, I raised my hand in the air and thanked the crowds before slowly limping away………. And almost falling over again. Then walked into the classroom where Beans goes "What happened to your knee?!?!"
Zoe looks down.
Zoe sees a large ladder in her tights.
5 seconds pass.
Zoe sees the blood trickling slowly onto the floor.
GOD I HATE THESE SHOOOOOES! They have no grip!! ...But theyre very pretty….. Maybe I’ll wear them tomoro…. Oh wait, it’s a mufti day tomoro ….. Oooh, I could ….. *trails off*

But yes. Now iv ruined the other knee. May I remind you the first one was due to house netball (sport never pays) And you know what Mrs Livingstone said to me?
“At least they’ll be symmetrical!”

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/03/2004 07:58:00 pm

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

I have to say THE highlight of my day was Music.
Mrs Thompson was lecturing us about the quality of our recordings and I quote!
“I don’t want something that you’ve just tossed off over breaktime whilst someones playing chopsticks in the background”
We all started to giggle and she was like SARAH! Why are you laughing? Laura! Zoe! Eleanor!
Oh god *wipes tear*
Classic moments like these don’t come around often.

And, if my day didn’t get any better!
Mrs Harding came out to have a go at me for playing outside the Harding Hall whilst she had her drama lesson right? LOL she came out with this horrible look on her face and was about to lay into me when she realised that Mrs Thompson was actually the one playing the piano. Mrs Thompson – god bless her dappy soul just grinned and waved at Mrs Harding with a jubilant “HELLO Mrs Harding!”
I have never seen Harding looked so pissed off. She just ignored Mrs Thompson and stormed back in! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL Then I started playing the flute – high window-shattering stuff- just to piss her off even more. Mwaha, serves her right for kicking me out her classroom in year 9 just because I had been told what REALLY happened to The Calcobar. (Remember that Ship thing that got “Lost” and we had to decide what had happened to it) Pleh. We go waaay back lol.

Buerna Suerte for tomoro for those willing to give up their lessons all for the sake of music. Lol.
What a shame, I might have to miss out a lesson with Ms Milzani! Why couldn’t I have been in Ascott? Then I would have missed PE. Trust Stowe to be before lunch which means that if it runs late (which it will) I’ll have to miss some valuable lunching time – very valuable, I'm planning on visiting Tescos for 10 doughnuts to consume to soothe my failure-ness.

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/02/2004 07:39:00 pm

Monday, March 01, 2004

Am in la Francais again. But this time, with Ali B *shout out to my B* n Lemming *Hey Lemming*
Dont really know what to write about but my "interesting" day never seems to go amiss so lets see ....
Bus was late. (nothing new there) Mainly because Hollises n Lyndys bus stuck its big fat arse in our way and decided to break down. Charming.

House Music was a complete shambles. Kinda reflecting what Wednesday will be like and guess what? Im playing first!!! Great way to start Stowe right? .... Lol, i guess it'll definatly get the ball rolling ... yeah, straight off the cliff..... Oh god, im going to pass out at the piano.
Im rambling now apparently ... which i am... yes... So i shall let my dear ali B say a few words:

No. Sweet. Oh. Hahargh. *slap* Bitch. *chews hand in laughter* Cow. Stop writing this. And i quote "herraghmhm"
Thanks for that.
But yes. that concludes my tres short blog for today. What can i say, i am not inspired, not matter how loud Alice "herraghmhm"s
Oh, and add a *snort* to the end of that. Alice is expanding her vocablulary.
Shes gone bright red ... I think shes gonna bite me....

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 3/01/2004 03:13:00 pm

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