My Not So Interesting Life

And so the clean up begins….

Xmas 2003. Well, the turkeys have been finished, (through means of turkey sandwiches, turkey soup, turkey turkey etc)the pudding has been devoured and the after eights? Hehe, they were “forgotten” so guess who got lucky today then? Lol
I gotta go now but just put in a quick word. Hope you all had a stonking Christmas. If I could slur in my text I would but fortunately typing makes me sound much more awake and clear-headed. Ha, if only you knew!
I'm off to Birmingham til the New Year so I hope you all have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! (Don’t drink too much my dearies)

And have fun with the revision too. (Like you'v even picked up a book)

MERRY CHRISTMAS
FELIZ NAVIDAD
JOYEUX NOEL
BUON NATALE
FROHE WEIHNACHTEN
NATAL FELIZ
VROLIJKE KERSTMIS
С Рождеством Христовым
LYSTIG JUL

Those are the only languages I know "Merry Christmas" in but I think you get my drift right?
Lol, its dead on the hour – ish.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
From the bottom of my heart (yes I do have one) I wish you all the happiness and laughter you could ever need. Only for Christmas mind lol
Eat drink and BE MERRY! (or Pippin, geddit? lol *hits head* Its christmas ok?)

Have a great one boys n gals.
:D :D :D :D

"God Bless Us, Everyone"

Christmas Eve.
Im joining BEB's sad git club and bloggin on Crhistmas Eve too. Jesus, i know i said i probs wasnt gonna be online til January, but i'v blogged a fair few days after that lol
Anyways!
Spent an interesting day doing ... absolutely nothing worth mentioning. My only highlight was of course watching Jason and the Argonauts which we all know is as traditional as the turkey. Lol, talking of Turkeys, the two bastards are defrosting in the kitchen as we speak. Mwahah.
Today i watched the thanksgiving episode of Friends (T.O.W. Brad Pitt) LOOOOL. I love Joey, hes such a friggin dude! He ate a WHOLE turkey and had room for pie!
*bows down*

Christmassy things.... Hehe, have you seen the BBC link with the lil kids dressed up as snowflakes, pratting about in the snow? Awwww! And sorry, but thers only so many times you can hear Mariah singing "All i want for Christmas is yooooou!"

BTW, gave my report in and there was no explosion and no "disgruntledness"
Probably due to the fact that i was asleep so there we go. Heres a tip. Give the report to the more placid parental , get a small lecture over it. Then see that the other rental gets it whilst you'r asleep. No parent wakes their child to shout at them right? Worked for me :D

While im blogging, might as well announce that 20th June is now known as Hickmass. I dont know either, but it was funny at the time. lol

We'r off to Midnight Mass tonight. Except at 10:30pm, but hey, the concept's the same. Actually, this is the first time my family has ever expressed an interest in religion.... Yeah, my mum really wants to win the lottery this year you see.

Will most probably go on tomoro to post a big MERRY XMAS up here, so til then.

So long, sweet dreams and goodnight, may Santa's sleigh visit you tonight.
(hehe rhyme!)

Iv been given a new temp phone. Nokia 3310 lol this time last year i would have killed for one , well anything but my brick of a Phillips. Now its just a ... very heavy phone compared to the Sendo lol.
I want to work at The Link they get to wear purple! Not to mention the fact that they fiddle around with the display phones all day. Hey, all i gotta do is quote endlessly whilst mentioning "Bolt Ons", "GRSM" and "E- Top up" and all other phoney language.
Well, its either that or Millies Cookies mwahahaha. However, pretty much the only place that will take you on at 15 is Clarks. Woo, feet.... wait, theres a Milllies Cookies opposite Clarks and they gave the Clarks staff all their unsold cookies at the end of the day...
Clarks it is then.

OK, quick note, my phone is broken and being gay. Its not letting me read text messages, but its letting me receive them, if that makes ANY sense.
So sorry to the 4 of you who have texted me, i wont know what you've said.

And also, have yet to give rentals report..... I DONT WANT TO!!!!! *cries*
Actually, its better than last time, but there are still various mentions of:
"Zoe is distracted by her peers too often"
"Zoe fails to lsiten at times"
"Zoe is rather abrupt" (lol, thats Ms Milzani speaking)
etc

Oh crap, i promised i would cut back on the erm.. discussion.. but alas.... now im screwed. But hey, i got an A* in Bus Studies!!!!!! *faints*
Shit i really picked the wrong AS subjects......

The decorations are up, the turkeys (yes turkeys) have been ordered and the neighbourhood is so bright that a house fire would probably result in the neighbours desperately turning up the voltage on their lights rather than running out to the rescue (they would in this ‘hood, honest!) Its that time of the year again and spirits are high… in alcohol content *badm dm chh* OH dear god, I think I'm sloshed from eating all those liqueur choccies. (Much love to the one that gave to me, you know who you are!!)
In fact, while I'm on the thank you stage, id like to say thanks to the 49 of you who bothered to give me a card.(about 30 of you last minute – basically because you weren’t planing on giving me one, but id given you one the day before right?) lol, blokes are excused I guess, but hats off to Shyam and Lane anyways. Also, big jumps and screams to the 14 delectable people who gave me gifts. Delectable … not the right word (well, for 13 of you anyway lol) but it sounds cool.

Last day of term was absolutely brilliant, as was the christmas show. May I recall shouting “YOU’R HARDCORE YEAH!” at the Oirish Jig girl and doing so probably scarred her opinion of Year 11s for life. Also:
“Who ate all the pies?”
“I DID!!!!” *bows* I was just being honest ok?

May i just add, ROTK was sooooo brilliant!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Come on, they HAVE to get the Academy Award this year! Robbed i tell you, robbed!

Anyway, to put a huuuge downer on the mood, I have to face the music and give my report to my rentals. I'm detecting a big déjà vu of what happened last summer actually (you know the 2 hours a day lol) but then again, I'm meant to be “studying” for my mocks anyways so it’ll be accepted rather more … graciously this time lol.
However, I’ll probably be “banned” from the net so if I make sudden and rash exits from MSN you will know why. SO I guess this is …. Goodbye *sob*
OI! I saw that satisfied smile!!! Lol, hope you all relax in your Zoe-free time and enjoy your holidays – January isnt that far away now mwahaha! Eat, drink and be merry but most of all, pretend you love that pair of violet socks Aunt Mabel has given you – it saves a lot of hooha and discussion of whether you’d wanted them in a larger size or not. *shudders*

So this is Zoe, signing off for the festive season and wishing you all a truly very merry Christmas.
Much Love to you all (yes, even you JB lol)

Ps When eating your turkeys (for all my fellow carnivores) smile and remember you’r ridding the world of what is undoubtedly one of the ugliest creatures on this earth. (not to mention the most creepy – I repeat “gobble gobble gobble, I'm going to peck your eyes out!"

Happy Holidays :D

Oh god, iv said this so many times, I'm actually thinking of finding a shortcut key to press instead of typing “PUBLIC TRANSPORT SUCKS”
Turned up on time this morning, in fact it was pretty early but as we all know, to good to be true ya ya ya. So yes. Turns out it doesn’t even bother turning up at the bus par in the afternoon.
Yep, not there by 4 either. Not there by quarter past 4. Hey the sun was setting as the bus turned up EVENTUALLY – about 50 minutes late at half past 4. Jesus, that’s the time we get to the outskirts of MK usually!
Like I said 50 minutes late. And what did we do to fill those 50 minutes? Well, apart from freezing our arses off (am I glad I didn’t wear a skirt today!) there was nothing to do. So naturally twenty minutes later I had been picked up and turned upside down courtesy of James. Then, as if it couldn’t get any worse, I had to deal not only just with James, but with the Canadian too. ITS CALLED BULLYING I TELL YOU! Honestly, there was me, running for my life only to be caught, headlocked and ruffled. (You know, where the annoying person messes up your hair with his knuckles) Also, James proceeded to backcomb my hair with flourish which also went down a storm.
It got darker… and darker… and darker. I don’t even want to bring back the memories but it ended up with bruised knuckles and a deep cut from a nail. *adjusts halo* (Lolol, serves him right, he wouldn’t let go!) And yes it was a big repeat of what happened with Johnny boy.
Then, after the bus finally turned up, we had to swap buses after another half hour and get out in this big abandoned bus depot. Lol it was all dark and wet and manky too. Then we got on this coach which had the weirdest layout. 2 seats, then the aisle, then 3 seats. Needless to say, I'm sure you can guess which two lovely young males I had to sit with. GAH, its one thing sitting with them complaining miserably and being bullied, but its another to have the Canadian feel you up and try to freak you out by coming on to you whilst your complaining miserably and being bullied. And as for you James? MY THIGH WAS HURTING FOR AGES YOU ZOE-BEATER! Bastards the pair of you. And to be honest .... i wouldnt have it any other way :)

Miss AHS was interesting lol. I quote
“GO ON STOPHIG MY SON!”
“KINKY YOU’R HARDCORE!”
WAAAAAAAAAA

Yes……
Lol, third were the Kinky pimp and her prostitutes selling Choquito Mosquito. Second was OIRISH JIG GIRL!!!! WOOO (a little year 7 who looked like she was about to shat her little year seven granny knickers) And YES we do know, because the audience is LOWER than the stage and she was wearing a dress whlist prancing and kicking. LOL.
And first…? well, stupid question really because we rallied the whole of year 11 at least into supporting them. Twas the Britney Spears (avec Mrs Gregory) dance + co.

Yep, another eventful year. OH god, just think next year, WE have to be those unfortunate, so-not-funny hosts. Aha, I think my “jokes” will come in useful – that’s purely what the links are! “Jokes” that only the hosts find remotely amusing. Hey, I'll say i was in it for the sweets ok?

Hehe, just thinking, its fucking Sods law that the day my bus is early I'm with KSmudge but when its 50 minutes late, he’s not THERE!!!!! *pouts*

I HAVE FOUND A NEW HOBBY! THE ADVERTISING SLOGAN GENERATOR!!!
Here are the best of my results.

Does You Does, or Does You Don't Take Zoe?
Nothing Acts Faster Than Zoe
What Would You Do For A Zoe?
We're with the Zoe.
With A Name Like Zoe, It Has To Be Good.
Four out of Five Dentists Recommend Zoe
I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Zoe
Its how Zoe is done
Zoe. It's What's For Dinner
Simple Impartial Zoe
Because Zoe is Complicated Enough
Zoe - Australian for Beer
See the Zoe, Feel the Shine
Leggo my Zoe!
Super Zoe is Almost Here

And my personal favourite

Get the Door - It's Zoe

Click here for yours lol

Oh god, thers 503 in all. ONly about 450 to go now......... lol ITS ADDICTIVE
LOOK WHAT YOU STARTED EMMA!

Hmm today was an ok day.
Great start with the self defence assembly, not so great finish with Music lol
Assembly was very very interesting. I learnt many a thing. Did you know that if I hit your nose from the right angle with a certain amount of pressure it would go up into your brain and kill you? Wow. Hey, dad look what I learnt today at school! ….
Also, it was interesting for many other reasons, those who saw it will know, so I need not say what I will undoubtedly sooner or later which will result in me clapping my hand to my mouth after exclaiming some such swear word. But one word: Nice. Lololol

Ooh Break. That’s always a bonus. I am QUEEN of the drinks machine! MWAHA. It swallowed Stophig’s money so we unleashed our fury on it. Well, I did. Come on, you know my temper lol. However, the primitive kicking and whooping went down quite well with some watching year 7’s. Let me quote
"BASTARD MACHINE!!"
*kick*
*thump*
*potter, potter* (thats sophie)
"STUPID STUPID"
*kick*

"Oh god, look at those year elevens..."
"Ahem...."

In spite of this it actually worked! I kicked it expertly and MONEY CAME OUT!!!!! LOTS OF MONEY!
We took what we were owed of course. That includes the pound it took from Stoph last week … honest.

Then the year 7s had a go, to no avail of course, you gotta kick it juuuust right. So I helped them get back their money too. Lol. Hmm maybe I should take up karate? HA that’ll teach you to pick me up and throw me about! Actually, I have a good punch. (Much appreciated to Will, Lane and Greeny for boosting my ego lol) So watch out!! (pay you your money later guys)

Top of the Pops was great. THEY DID BLAZIN SQUAD! HOO YEAH!!! WOOOOO! And whats even more ironic, they came 3rd !!! Busted absolutely kicked arse (I screamed so loud, now my throat is sting-ing) and the Darkness were … interesting. Lol, scarily I knew the words to the Spice girls which was not so embarrassing actually seeing that Scanlers did too! *points finger of blame*

“Now heres the story from A-Z, you wanna get with me, you gotta listen carefully, we got Em in the place who likes it in your face, we got G like MC who likes it on a Easy V doesn’t come for free, shes a real laydee and as for me? Ha, you’ll see… Slam your body down and wind it all around ….”

ARGH! *hits head* OUT OUT OUT!!

Hooo Teacher Kareoke tomoro ........ should be interesting.

Note. How .... "interesting" is it to watch year 7s prance around with roses which are so obviously sent from within the High school? lol, im not bitter honest. Ah the joys of holding a flower which ends up half dead at the end of the day. (I used mine to whack people out the way and one was bent in half by the end of lunch)
Heeee, its so cute though, the little people walking around with it right in front of them when their best friends all have one too. Somehow it takes the novelty right out though.

Next year, if thats what you really want (you know who you are), i will be happy to oblige though wouldnt you prefer something that will last the distance or something ....... i dunno, would useful be toeing the line?

lol Roses- Weapons of mass destruction hmmmm Hehe, shame they de-thorn them now i could have actually used them for something more than a social status security blanket lol.
(wow, good metaphor there Zoe) oh god im talking to myself. Oh holy shit, im TYPING TO MYSELF!

Where did the shout outs go? Lol. Just occurred to me, there goes all memory of the not so notorious Wardy V Trowelly. Sheesh that was amusing :P Like Hicksy says, be lovers not enemies .. or something like that …. LOL

Anyways, many random things to talk about. First of all something from aaaaages back. LOL, we were doing this video conference thing in Business Studies and its like an extended version of a webcam. Anyways, Mr Torps said we had to figure it out so he gave the control to this girl. Now the control controls where the camera “looks” and effectively what appears on the screen. So this girl is scrolling around, jumping form camera 1 through 5 right? When she realises there is no 6 she zooms in pretty close on this other girl sitting on the end of the row next to Mr Torps. Then she makes the biggest mistake and presses left. The camera, being a mere machine, moves left and what do we see a blown up image of on the screen? Well, lets just say that Mr Torps was standing up, next to this girl and directly in line with her head is his….
Oh dear god. Then came the sniggers and shes sitting there trying desperately to get it back to camera 1, 2, hell ANYWHERE but there! But, alas, to no avail. POWL! That was the singular most awkward yet hilarious moment ever to have occurred in a business studies lesson.

Moving on now. You know that oh so annoying one way system in the Science block? Well, I was being … sly… and going the smart way obviously seeing that my classroom is the one that’s right next to the courtyard. However, there was one obstacle in the shape of Mr Cullen. Haaaa. All I'm saying is that hes better than Mr Sinden. I think. Lol. Anyways, he was like, and where are you going? And I was like … that way *points up stairs* LOL it was like, the stairway to a better place and the corridor was the dark windswept lane that led to a worser fate. Anyhow, he saw through my plan and made me go the long way round. Crap. See teachers are getting smarter god dam it.

Hmm, was wrapping a present for my three-year-old cousin. It’s a Winnie the Pooh words book. Ironically, I opened the book to find: Big, Small … In, Out…. Front, Back. I'm sorry girls and boys but you know me LOL.

Ergh was unbelievably bored on the bus today. Was listening to the Canadian’s music. And being deafened at the same time. Not to sound like an old man, I understand loud, but so loud that all you can hear is the endless bashing of the cymbals and then the crashing and the oh make it stop! Lol. Actually, this gives a new definition to being bored. Just when I thought being bored was sitting in Maccy D’s making shapes out of an apple pie wrapper (Look, it’s a goat!) But no. lol

However in lessons me and Sto have our own … unique ways of keeping entertained. Hehe Physics today. Josephine was like. Oh.My.God – I don’t know you two ok?
Ha serves you right Stoph you and your stupid bra that doesn’t come undone easily. LOL, and with that last sentence all the male readers snap awake. Wha? Hehe, wouldn’t you like to know what happens in Science? Lol.

Anyhoo that’s enough of my random garbling for today so til next time.
PS theres a new word of the week, gesticulate didn’t work out lol

News on last night! Mwahah had a pizza eating contest with Raz. Of course i lost. But hey, i was winning with the first slice. And then after the next five, the nausea started to kick in lol. However i only lost by one slice. Not bad right? Right? lol
Congrats Raz. We'll do that chocolate dessert challenge thing whatever its called next time. I look forward to that.

Gah its so madly frustrating when you try to talk to people and all they do in return is either laugh /grunt/ mutter /ramble" etc. And having to spend about 2 hours with someone whose vocabulary consists literally only of "I dunno" "I dont mind" "Meh" and "Heh" is very trying.
However i like to consider myself as a very patient person .... pfft. LOL- Now you can see imagine what the atmosphere was like yesterday lol Hehe, but we had a nice time in the end though next time you go shopping with someone that suits the above description, remember to slip the amphetamines into his drink BEFORE you go out. (And yes its usually a member of the male species.) Hehe, talking of drugs, honestly they WERE mints.....

Some kind soul who shall not be mentioned read my previous blog and decided to send me the words to "Winter Wonderland". Thank You. They shall be learned and sang out loud when hoovering next time... *rip*
And muchos gracias to Jegs who wrote a whole Christmas repetoire in my lil red book. PS Jessica is NOT a fat name *slap*

And on that note.... i trail off and leave you in peace...... Cecil.

Oh dear god, the festive season has hit me. I am , at this current moment, hoovering and belting out “Well I wish it could be Christmas every daaaaay” (Yes I AM alone in the house no worries lol) The christmas tree avec decorations ahs been taken out of the loft this morning and has brought a plague of dust and spiders with it. Mwahaha, I have a hoover. *schloop*

First of all I saw the Coca-Cola advert on TV and you know how THAT affects me. (I was already teary eyed from Dawsons ok?) Then I hear wake up to hear “Snow is falling, all around us…”
Oh god, I'm singing it as I type!!!

And I have to point out that Aylesbury decorations suck big time compared to MK mwahaha! Lol, town pride, town pride. But come on, we have a singing snowman with windscreen wiper eyebrows! (next time we’r in MK, I’ll show you lol the look on Katrines face. I quote “Oh.My.God, now that’s just scary!”)

Anyways, the hoovering wont be done by itself, well, unless you have a happy little houseelf, which we don’t. So the nearest thing my family have is me. Woo. Oh god, I'm singing “Winter Wonderland" atm. Lol, however I don’t know the words so it goes: “Sleighbells ring, are you listening, in the la something glistening it’s a la la la sight, we’r something tonight. Walking in a winter wonderland.”

Someone shoot me now.

I REMEMBER!!!!
AS CHOICES!!
They'r in for tomoro. Darn choices. Ergh, i know iv said this before but why is it only 4? LOL, i sound like such a freak but i cant narrow the list down to 4. Bugger. lol

Its all hunkydory for those of you who have decided on what you want to do and be already. Archaeologist, biochemist, Egyptologist, Nurse, Teacher, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! lol
But yeah. lol knowing me, i'll forget my blue slip tomoro anyways. Trust me to leave it last minute.

AND im not going to get my careers appt until this time next year by the looks of things. Curse my last name and first name BOTH at the end of the fucking register.
*scowls*

First of all I must say.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE SMUDGE.
Yeah duty called ok? Hehe jk.

Deep Pan tomoro, yes *shock horror* I’m being let out! YES I AM! YAY *jumps up and down* Now, how to not muck it all up … lol
Erm, what did I do today? Blag, the novelty of writing in this seems to be wearing thin…. Hell what am I saying. NO ITS NOT! Its like the voice that everyone HAS to listen to (unless they click the cross thing or something) Mwaha, now for the brainwashing! I mean …. erm… damn it.

Jesus, I actually did have something to say but its completely slipped my mind.
Oh wait, I'm restarting the Orange Locker again, but for a completely different purpose lol. Cos I cant put pictures up on MYNSIL iv created The Orange Locker again just for the picture purposes. Yeah, I’ll put up the link when its done or summat.

I'm all out. Sorry, no “laughs” or feelings of pity for me tonight.

On a second note lol
Watched the end of Dawsons. One word. PERFECT.
I cried. Lots. and then some more.....
lol
Its amazing how many people have a blog now. They'r becomgin the latest fashion, like those god dam questionnaires that you fill out because someone else took the time to fill it out ..... or is that just me?

There was something else, but iv forgoten.
Noticed a lack of shout outs recently. Strange how the topics that probs resulted in the most were about something random like bread or .......... dare i say it .... turkeys *shudder*

Erm....... yeah.... also, interesting quote today.
"No one ever wants their keys to be limp."
Take that in whatever way possible because yes thats probably what it meant. lol bless you Jegs, i had to say it again.

*scowls*
Today I went to the dentists. Today I had two small fillings put in. (Yes, I'm an old man I know) Today I am not a happy bunny/
For one, its so cold, it takes two seconds outside before I lose all feeling in my nose. Secondly, I had PE today. And thirdly, THEY SAY IT ONLY HURTS A LITTLE BIT BUT IT HURTS A LOT!!! A WHOLE LOT!
The dentist asked me if I wanted an anaestethic but being the brave girl I am, I said no. (Because she said it would only hurt a little bit!) So I sat there while the dentist drilled away. It was alright at first. Then…… IMMENSE PAIN! OW OW OW OW! Its like having a metal hook being stuck into your tooth. Oh wait, it IS a metal hook being stuck into your tooth!
MLAH!!
And not just one tooth too, I had to have TWO rounds of pain! Meh. I feel so old-manish.
AND! if that wasnt bad enough, i wasnt allowed to eat anything for a few hours!
*scowls*

Business studies today was a riot. We were “scheduled” to have a video conference with the National Maritime Museum. However our school isnt a “techonology college£ like another certain school lol, so naturally, the whole tech thing, didn’t work. We tried, honestly, for about half an hour. Then when the man picked up, he wouldn’t stop shouting. He couldn’t hear us and we couldn’t hear him because he was too loud. Like, you could hear him in the language-block-from-the -library loud. Then He took our frantic waving and ssssh-ing as a sign to speak even louder. *hits head*
Just because hes some big hot shot marketing manager thing doesn’t automatically mean hes got a lot a common sense. Then he said /shouted that he was going to reschedule by phoning us, whilst gesitculating so wildly that we thought he might put his hand through the screen. Dear god.

Music was a doss. Nothing new. However, Mrs Hardern is a complete moo, not letting us bang about on the piano outside the Harding Hall. lol, Mrs Irvine on the other hand is deaf if she cant hear it.

BTW
if you are in the mood for "debating" hell, what am i saying? Insulting small minded people like T Rowell, head over to Wards house of fun and read the shout outs.
lol, im feeling very good about myself now. Id like to see said T Rowell and give him a large piece of my mind (if he can handle it)

I quote:
"Have a nice day T Rowell remembering you had nothing better to do in your life than create that piece of shit that you so nicely wrote and by doing so, lessened my opinion of you even further."

How mature do I sound?!! lol Whether it made sense or not.......

BTW, last ever episode of Dawsons was on last night. I taped it and am about 1/2 way through. OMG. i am .... words can not describe. Kinda sad really? lol
Jack Jack Jack, i dont care if you'r "gay" and i dont care if you'r "33" Though he plays a 19 year old and still looks decent....
ANyway, will she go for Dawson or Pacey? or neither? Hooo. I know who dies though. MWAHAHA
Yes, you'r all probably thinking, oh god, she watches Dawsons creek. The series full of big-eyebrow-ed freaks who have a vocabulry range of a Harvard professor at 15 ... Realistic non? Thats why i love it.

What to say today? Abosultely feck all. For once... i have nothing to say. Enjoy it while you can.
Erm, Ward has jumped on the proverbial bandwaggon and made a blog. Check out the "fellow bloggers" links to find it.
I had something of note to say, but i cant remember......
Heh, something i just rememberd. According to Ms Milzani, the Times and the Daily Telegraph are "broad shits" *cue the clapping of hand to mouth in mock horror*

OOOH today we had a really cool self defence woman come in to talk to us about personal safety and stuff. In actual fact, shes an English teacher from a local comprehensive but hey. Learnt many interesting things such as looking people in the eye yet not "eyeballing" them.. whatever that meant...
Also, carry a saucepan, foreign change, umbrella, keys, telephone cards and rolled up magazines at hand in case I get attacked. Yes. Because a girl is not complete without her trusty saucepan *wields* Ha, think you can attack me and get away with it?!
Also, if in doubt, stand tall and "yell" "BACK OFF!" at the top of your voice and legging it in the opposite direction. This will result in either the man thinking "Oh god, what a freak" or "Oh dear god what a freak"
lol, maybe the mugger will think "Ooh-er dont want to attack this loon" though the passers by will be like "Ooh-er so this is what todays youth is all about..." However, you may just skip merrily past all of these and end up giving the person a heart attack.
"Excuse me miss, you-"
"BACK OFF!!" *runs away*
"dropped your keys....."

Also, apparently our lives have to be in danger before we can go round hitting people with saucepans. Bollocks, who made THAT rule up? IN fact... there is NO rule! Mwahah *plots*
LOL i can just imagine
"Excuse me miss-"
"*THWACK!*" ..... *thud*
What? I thought it was a knife! Pen, knife, same difference.....

Next week she's bringing an assisstant..... *rubs hands in glee* *gets popcorn*

Hmmmm, MSN 6.1 launches .. people simultaneously get sign in problems. Coincedence?
I have to agree with Hicksy Choo’s theory. Lol

Twas going to have a long ramble about something completely unrelated (heh, whats new Zoe?) but the blogger system was down so I couldn’t. (what a shame? Lol, I can hear your sarcasm!)

Record of the Year. Didn’t watch it, don’t know if they even announced a winner, but my bet is on Black Eyed Peas. If they got shortlisted that is. I thinks, other contenders will be Bring me To Life , Something by Daniel Bedingfield (who actually IS a fat version of Darren Day) Perhaps a Busted song… Erm … I'm guessing something Justin Timberlake related. (I liked Cry Me A River) I'm also sensing an appearance of Beyonce and 50 cent (or fittie cent as they say its pronounced- whatever)

Not surprised if someone crap but oh so pretty/ goodlooking gets in their ie Rachel Stevens *bang*
And Westlife and Atomic Kitten? Ergh *bang bang* *thud*

Yep, I'm a bit trigger happy today boys and girls lol.

Only just got my advent calendar (its milkyway stars!) today so ate 7 days of chocolate. Yes, i am aware that it is in fact the 6th today but hey, we all make mistakes right? Mmmm, advent chocolate and the coca cola advert, some of the best things in life. Oh yeah, as well as love, happiness and world peace of course.

CLothes show was brilliante! MWAHAHA i have now successfully bought half of my christmas presents for you lucky poops. ANd no, dont worry bloke folk, i didnt get you anything from there lol. THough they did have some rather intriguing novelty boxers... which i shall not go into as its not yet 9:30. lol.
ALSO! EEEEEEEEEH! LOL, when i told my rentals, their initial response was "its a con". Thats just great. See, thats my loving supportive family for you. *fingers crossed*

Saw the fashion show in the morning with LIberty X who were surprisingly ok as there are about two of them who CAN sing and dance at the same time. Then, came Tara P-T *bang* and Brian Dowling *heeee* My mother though Tara P-T looked very stylish and was like, Zoe, why dont you wear clothes like that?
Ha, just give me the £1000 she paid for that skirt and consider it done.
Then, the male models! Mwahahaha. Lol, there was this one guy wearing a leather skirt and he had cards down his pants. Dont ask, it was to "the ace of spades" ok? He pulled them out ...... and lets just say that ..... the girls in my row noticed he pullled something.. else... erm... UP. All i can say is that the cards were hastily shoved back down. LOL
Then there were the dancer/models. Gah, its so easy to be jealous of a complete stranger when they have size 6 waists, long lean legs and stunning complexions... Ok, i'll just go and sit in the corner feeling small and insignificant.....
There was a pirate themed run too and i got a bit of a POTC rush lol If only OB was there too. Hell, who needs Tara P-T ?

I have nothing else to yabber on about so here are some convos i have had today.... well, just now:

Ward says: My aunty part owns a fashion agency they hav sophie dahl on their books or summat like that and big offices
Zoe says: SHE PART OWNS STORM?
Ward says: btw way how did u know its name?
Zoe says: I am knowledgeable in many affairs. (mwahahaha)

Spangus says: Angus is great

LOL Need i say more?
Plah, you can tell that when i start talking about people talking about themselves, iv really got nothing else to do...... So sue me. lol

Have a nice Sunday.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH! CLOTHES SHOW TOMORO!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!

On a random note, i looked at the counters and 290 people?! In 9 days? LOL i wasnt even aware i knew 290 people! Mwahaha, dear god, now thats just scary lol
And as for the 3000+ hits? LOL, iv said it once, and i'll say it again. We really have nothing better to do.....


Also, i have misplaced my absolution album. I know i gave it to one of you scurvy knaves, slash, knavettes. Please confess now so i can come and bosh your mooey or return it asap as i think i am suffereing from Matthew Bellamy withdrawal symptoms without it lol.
Charez.

PS
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPANGUS AND BEB!! Sweet 16 at last :D

Here is my thought of the day. Surely it must be comforting to know that this time next year, Diggle will be using guns and protecting this country. Oh dear god. Boys and girls i think if we get a heads up on the praying now we might just live to hear about Diggle being kicked out for shooting squirrels for the fun of it and showing the enemy where the secret hide out is. Hehe, jk Digs. Seriously, dont want to get on the wrong side of you, you'll have a gun. Will I still have my blog then? Thats the only thing i got. Lol, gun ...or ... blog .. *weighs up* Ok, if i get mysteriously shot in the head one night, we'll know who to blame...

Anyway, today was MLAD (Modern Languages Majig..)
Twas ok. I went and learnt some Indonesian, fell asleep i mean, listened in some boring lectures and got a free lunch. Yep. Pretty much it.
Now i can say
Satu, dua, tiga, umbat, lima, annum etc
Which does not translate to
".. one duals a wombat... with a lime year?"

LOL, we sat in the hall for about an hour "listening" to the key note speaker do a presentation. And by "listening" i mean pointing out the "fitties" LOL
There was the "fittie" and the "fitties" friends LOLOLOL You can see we were bored...

Ha, it was an actual accident but i was talking to Hoskins and i walked backwards into someone. Well, someone crashed into me. Almost fell over but a pair of hands grabbed me and stopped me. Laughing i turned around and started apologising profusely then saw Hoskins face drop as we realised who it was. MWAHAHA THE FITTIE! LOOOOOOL.
Hoskins was like "OMG, you talked to him. OMG YOU TOUCHED HIM!"
ROFL!! Dear god, we'r not typical hormonal girls are we?
Yes, thats it really.......... Eventful? No. Fun? Yeah, not bad. Hell, at least we missed a day of school.

PS
AFter the fire on the bus. This morning insted of the usual double decker. WE were driven to school in two seperate single buses. Woo, double the chance of engine explosions!

OH dear god. I though my day was boring but come the afternoon and hey hey its back to life! However, not necessarily as in woo fun. More like woo we’r all going to DIE!
But, to create suspense, I shall start with the small talk. Mwaha!
English with Ms Milzani. Ah always a pleasure LOL We had to give summaries of LOTF and ours won with 11seconds flat. It went along the lines of:

Plane crash
The Conch brings boys together
Ralph is elected leader much to Jacks dismay
Jack becomes hunter
Fire goes out, Jack breaks glasses
Creation of …”the beast”..
Simon murdered
Jack leaves Ralph
Forms his own tribe
Piggy squished!
Ralph hunted!
FIRE!
Rescue
End.
*breathes*

Ha, our challengers were at 3 minutes 45. So nyeh! Though I do have to quote one of their lines.
“Had lots of pigs, had lots of fun”
Yes…

ANYWAY gradually moving onto more exciting things.
Was walking to catch bus in the afternoon. It was steadily coming down Bay B so I walked up the open bay to avoid missing it.
Bad mistake.
Due to some uneven curbing, I erm…… fell over. In the middle of the bus lane. Flat on my front. Yes it did hurt and yes I did get laughed at.
WOOOO … *limps away in shame*
Got on bus, realised blood was steadily flowing from my knee (THE OTHER ONE! OMG THAT’S BOTH OF THEM SCARRED NOW!) So yeah, that was nice. Had to rip a hole in my tights to hinder the flow and had an attractive tissue clamped to my leg.

About an hour later we were on the A5 trundling down at bus speed when all of a sudden the bus screeches to a halt. And when I say screeches, I'm not kidding. There was a distinct smell of burnt rubber and as we looked outside there was so much smoke we couldn’t see anything. At first we thought, ok, bad braking thing going on, but then the bus started to fill up with smoke. Hoo not good. Not good at all.
First of all, there was the confusion. Then there were the shouts of panicky year 7s and the drunken slurs of the sixth formers lol. Then we heard the random garble of the bus driver who was apparently telling us to get out. Ha, you don’t need to randomly garble at me twice to persuade me to get off a burning bus!

We got off the bus, which was actually a lot slower than you would think. Especially when you’r upstairs! Its like, go go go!! Actually quite scary as the bus was full of smoke. Strangely, I wondered if there were such things as bus fire drills or something… Ironic really seeing how fire drills are looked upon with such scorn nowadays. Lol, well there were no teachers to tell you to shut up so the air was filled with
“RUN RUN RUN THE BUS IS ON FIRE!”
“WE’R ALL GOING TO DIE!”
“Ohhhhh shit”

Well, we got off the bus and were huddled on the edge of the road, in this random grassy verge. No, we weren’t very happy bunnies. It was dark and the ground was so uneven. I stepped off the bus, straight into a hole. Woooo. Well, there we were, on the edge of the A5, with cars go at breakneck speeds.
“WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!”
"ZOOOOOOM"
Billy/Sally even tried to hitchhike and looked very becoming in his hobo hat and beggars bag. Funnily enough, the only answer he got was “WHOOOOOOOOSH” *screams and jumps off road*

The smoke was coming out the back of the bus and the bus driver was spraying it with the fire extinguisher. Shaaaat. The smoke was all around though the sixthformers and some year 10 decided it was appropriate for them to have a fag to add to the "pleasant" environment.

Anyway the busdriver (and it wasn’t Ted *sob*) mumbled at us to stay away from the roads and go up the hill. SO we did. There was about 50 of us walking up this really really steep hill. (Me with bleeding leg STILL!) It was quite hard seeing that it was covered with nettles and brambles and was rather hard with high heels. And surprisingly I didn’t fall over and roll back down the hill… ahem…

Bah, then after waiting on the top of the hill and getting some strange looks (yet no offers of lifts) for about 5 minutes. The bus driver came panting up the hill and was like “What are you doing? Get back down! Go back on the bus!”
So we precariously walked back down the verge. And by walk I mean ran/ stumbled/ rolled. Got back on the bus, though we made sure the fire was out. Apparently we were waiting for another bus to come and get us. We decided to sing a song and the first one suggested was rather appropriate.
“The roof, the roof, the roof is on fiiire . We don't need no water.... ” LOL
So we waited.
Got off the bus again.
Got back on.
Got off and HEY PRESTO! The replacement bus arrived!
We got on that and it was off like a .... *tries to think of interesting word* ... *fails* Like a bus...!
It missed the next turning, went all the way up to the Abbey Hill roundabout before making a quick diversion past KFC. Then going right, round and back up again……… oh dear god…. The insanity! All this resulted in me arriving home at about 6pm and writing a will. lol jk.
And thus ends my staggering account.
My final thought?
I’v said it once before and I’ll say it again. Public transport sucks.

Ha, almost forgot.
We had an assembly on citizenship logs and the french day thing.
I GOT 18!!! (Out of 40) *does a dance*
Not bad considering it was a bus job. (hush)
Hollis however, did it in one lunchtime and got 35.
*shock horror*
When we found out it was like. SH-IIIIIIIT!
Ha, hers is practically double mine.

ANyways, i was texting (in the back row) while Mrs Dean was blabering on. Then, she mentioned something about the mime artist or i dont know and EVERYONE turned around and looked at me in that deliberate way. I, who wasnt actually listening was like.... erm.... psst Hollis,why are they looking at me?
LOL
I thought she was telling me to shut up or something but apparently it was something about how i communicated with the "severely disabled" children.... or something..... Dam it, i guess i should listen a bit more.... Not laughing over the word "hymen"
(yes the comic is now taking residence in my planner ROFL!)

I think the highest was 37 by Leahnie. *cue the jaws dropping the floor*
Hey, it just occured to me. Hollis beat Elizabeth Morris! Wooooah, that NEVER happens!
Oh dear, why do i sense there's a big meteor that about to colide with the earth?....

LOL hibernation. Whats with THAT?
Ha, just thought id start with a nice random thought from my head.
Anyways, I do remember I had a kind of interesting topic to talk about today, but I’v forgotten so now, you guys can read about my EXCITING day. Sorry if you cant feel my undying enthusiasm, it was THAT exciting.

First of all Textiles. I managed to actually break the machine again. Or is having five threads going up and down normal? LOL, after I cut my material free, I had to spend about 10 minutes pulling out thread from the bobbin thing which looked like a tuft of grass. (Not good seeing as its meant to look like stitches) Whoops.
Then I managed to successfully hem my cover using the machine, only to realise that the thread had run out half way through and I had a good 30 cm of random holes. Here comes my A now!!

At break, there was a conference in our form room but I had to put a load of stuff away. However the tables had been pushed against the wall so that I couldn’t reach the cupboard properly. So, Stophig kept an eye out while I climbed onto the desk (in a most ladylike way ….. ok, you got me, but its hard when I'm wearing a skirt ok?!) Then I jumped off the desk in a most ladylike way and doing so probably jarred my spine. Mmmmm jam.

OOOO citizenship!!!
I managed to take a picture of the Black Ward but unfortunately the camera lense was really off so I’ve only got the right side of his face, eyebrows down. It will be posted up… somehow…. Once I find…. The thing I'm looking for…. Yes…
Hollis and I kept ourselves entertained by splattering the books, walls and ourselves with ink as we spun our Parker pens round in a spin-the-bottle like manner. Actually, screw that last bit, I don’t like to talk about spin the bottle anymore …….. LOL

Oh well, I'm expecting some snide comments now that the Canadian told one of the biggest mouths in our year lol. Plus now on our bus we had a debate on whether it was right or wrong…. But I wont go into that, as it involved the sixth formers having a mooey when they found out what Jim did. …. Let me quote
“Actually, there were two”

*wipes tear* Stand proud James.

We were discussing what would happen if I joined in a game of rugbeh and considering my weight (I'm practically half the weight of KSmudge LOL)
I said “I would get flattened in a rugby match.”
Shifty then replied with “broken is more appropriate”
*screams and runs*

However, apparently my weight is an “added bonus”. If I, in a sudden moment of madness were to get the ball… well… since I'm so easy to throw about apparently:
“Hell who needs to run, throw Zoë over the line for a try”
Yes

ANYWAY
OMG. I think i have just found my male alter-ego
MWAHAHA Reminds me way too much of bio lessons
http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2003-11-28

Mwahaha. Hmm I seem to be doing the evil genius laugh quite a lot recently… Oh dear lord. Ok, I'm gabbling yes I know. Lets see…. Interesting yet pointless topic of today is…

Lets get a few things straight. Since KSmudge has got the ball rolling with his view on bitching. I’m going to carry on with the gossip, hearsay rumour mill bit. He may not be bothered to preach but I say BRING ON THE CONGREGATION
Oooh first of all definitions. You never go wrong with a definition. The dictionary never lies!
Most people interpret gossip to be a derogatory term closely related to bitching. However, gossip is
1. Unconstrained talk or writing about a persons social incidents (Lets see… Heat magazine being an example. Par example the Beckhams. Yes it has got to a point where I really don’t how many bouncers it took for Posh wore to take Brooklyn to school.)
2. Idle talk ( Erm… Heat magazine again…ie How many bouncers it took for Posh to escort Brooklyn to school)

However, don’t get me wrong. Gossip used in the wrong way is one of the not so good things about this world. Gossip used with malicious intent to harm or damage someone’s reputation is just as bad as bitching. However, it’s not bitching though many mistake it for bitching.

Bitching is to 1.Speak scathingly or spitefully 2. To complain.

Now, the physics of the rumour mill. The rumour mill is obviously the unknown source of Heat’s power. It, being the collective of all the forms of gossip and bitching and rumours. (Rumours being general talk of doubtful accuracy.) This wheel is only mastered by a select few but these select few obviously have no lives seeing that they can claim to know all there is to know of these three matters which is a sad sad pointless thing unless you know how to define between the three. Gossip, Rumour and Bitching.
However, this is impossible because if you knew that a rumour was a rumour, it would not be a general hearsay of doubtful accuracy. It would be a general hearsay of certain doubtful accuracy. Which then makes it … not what it is…. (don’t worry, even I got lost with that) This being impossible also because bitching can also be idle talk. So then what do we class it as? Hmmm? Take that in your pipe and smoke it Boyd Hilton. (psst that’s the editor of heat magazine)

ANYWAY!
My final conclusion (and I promise I have one…. somewhere) being that all three forms are dangerous. They should be handled with caution and treated with extreme prejudice. Granted, most of it is harmless. But when it gets out of hand…. Hooo that’s when the trouble starts a brewing.
Lets face it. Everyone likes to talk now and then. Whether it be about a certain persons pair of shoes (lol, for all of the ppl in my Spanish group) or whether it be regarding the fact if Mr Collinson is a perve or not. (though he soo is. *cough cough* lol)

However (and there are a lot of however’s in this) if you gossip or bitch purely to put someone down, to damage their name (ha they could sue you for libel!) or simply to hurt someone’s feelings. Then that my friends is the real problem. Screw all the oh, you were talking about whether Mr A is going to ask Mrs B out, umm, your gossiping, I'm telling! That’s small fry compared to the big guns people use out there…. Yes…
AND NOW!! TO end on a happy happy, if not… strangely worrying note.
Today’s quote of the day is from Rrrrryan who says with extreme vagueness
“boobs r great fun to play with”

Thank You and Good Night London.

Next week: BACKSTABBING!
NB you will need a sharp kitchen knife though machetes and chainsaws are a bonus.