*Names have been changed (slightly) to protect identity
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Disclaimer: All events and proceedings related to this site are fictitious. Any association to current affairs is ENTIRELY coincidental...Completely coincidental
(Ha, that'll keep those with libel in mind happy. or dead)

Sunday, November 30, 2003

I could say that today was the most intense day of my life. I could say today I experienced one of the most nerve-racking ordeals in my life. But then again, if I did say that, then I would be lying. Hey, I might as well just say I passed with flying colours and that there were no clouds in sight as the sun shone happily sending a sweet breeze through the trees. But now that’s just being silly.

Yes I did have my piano exam today. And yes I crapped it up big time. As usual. Woo. However I have my excuses I mean my reasoning of course.
a) I had to play on Mrs Van Collers shaky ole Clavinova. (for those of you not familiar with a Clav, it’s a small PLASTIC PIANO!) May i add, Mrs VC is as shaky as the piano. Shes probably as old as the tin of preserved prunes in the depths of my non-existant larder.....
b) On said plastic piano, there is a particular key that clicks oh so irritatingly when you play it.
c) Said key that clicks oh so irritatingly when you play it appears exactly 48 times in the first piece alone.
d) The examiner was late so I had to wait for 50 minutes in Mrs V-C’s teeny tiny front hall, freezing my fingers to the bone as the wind kept blowing through the god dam letterbox.


completely crapped up. Today i experienced the longest and most awkward silence in all exam history. The dam pages wouldnt turn! I flipped it over as normal, kinda didnt flip it far enough.... was sitting there playing but to my dismay the page started turning back over again! Just imagine me randomly start leaning to the right as the page turned back over. Oh dear god it was not good. The examiner appeared not to notice and to my dismay the page flipped over completey. Even though i was in the middle of the most complex chord in the piece, i had to stop and flip it back over again. THis time bringing the five other pages i the book with it. Oh shat. Had to stop, find my place and carry on.
Oh well.....
In the "ABRSM These Music Exams" manual thing it states "examiners will be understanding if such problems occur" HA. I bet the examiner has written:
"There was a long pause in the piece but i dont think pausing for dramatic effect was entirely necessary here"
(thanks to KSmudge for that one lol)
And btw, contrary to what Mr Blackburn thinks. I did NOT seduce the examiner. Sure they’r all old men but that’s just wrong. Just think, that’s someone’s grandad……

Anyway, on a lighter note, Hampden V Lee tomoro. Iv just put in a bet that Hampden will beat them though even I know that’s suicide. I'm not stupid don’t worry. I hear you saying YOU MIGHT AS WELL KISS THAT POUND COIN AU REVOIR! *shakes fist* Pleh, it’s a 3-1 wager and what can I say? I'm a risk taker with my 1 pound!!! MWAHAHA ……. Bye bye pound coin. There goes my bacon roll on Monday then.
However, the reason why I am betting is to obviously show my faith in a certain someone….. Yes….. that’s my excuse …. I mean…..
See you all tomoro if my accursed bus isnt late AGAIN!

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/30/2003 06:23:00 pm

Saturday, November 29, 2003

Ok, DP's just informed me he is in fact, watching it as he's talking to me. Oh the irony.

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/29/2003 09:19:00 pm
Not many people online at the mo. Shifty's reasoning being
"Well thers this program-100 greatest sex scenes"
And he would be right. Thats why none of you are online at the moment apart from Shifty, Spangs, DP, Chisel, Has and yours truly. We are good little boys and girls.
Now, i want to hear your reasonings slash excuses...

Why are you all running away now?

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/29/2003 09:17:00 pm

Friday, November 28, 2003

I am a pillock. Earlier today i was doing my textiles cushion thing. Sewed one edge... two edges... three edges... four edges......... then realised there was no edge open to put the stuffing in....
Half an hour of unpicking later i stuffed the cushion and started to sew the edge up again.
However, being the pillock i am, i then realised i had yet to turn it inside out. *hits head* Lets just say that whoever invented the "unpickers" was a genius.

I got up 6 and a half hours after Shifty today. Mwahaha, twas great. Had a fryup para my breakfast. Unfortunadamente i wasnt allowed out which is gay because theres no point in an inset if you can go shopping and benefit from the lack of people. And by that i mean MKCentre so quiet that if you stand and shout from John Lewis you can hear it down by Marks and Spencers......... not that iv done that before ......... ahem..

Ergh talking recently to people about the Bleep test. Sorry but one sound that even remotely resembles a bleep is enough to send me into a a quivering wreck, rocking back and forth going "no... no! PLEASE NO MORE SHUTTLE RUNS!!"
However stories of The Bleep Test at the grammar have been amusing. Hmm, strange how laughing at other peoples pain is so satisfying...

My irrelevant ramble today girls and boys will be on........burglar alarms. (yes, this me making it up on the spot)
What is the point of them? Yes i understand its to deter burglars and stuff but today the alarm went off about three houses away and no one was really arsed to go and check it out. I mean, granted we all stuck our heads out and looked at the house from the comfort of our own houses. But none of us were actually close enough to see if there was any movement inside the house or anything. In fact, so many things have alarms these days that if you hear one you dont know whether its a car alarm, a burglar alarm or even a mobile phone (and yes i have heard a mobile phone that sounds like both the above) And even if you do hear one, how many people actually go outside and check it out? Yes there are many people who do, but there are also many people who dont. My conclusion drawn from this being, are alarms effective anymore? I mean a burglar could easily go into a house and continue about his pillaging without disturbance... not giving any burglars out there any ideas of course.... As for the house alamr which went off today, well the owner got home about an hour later (the alarm switched itself off after 10 minutes) and everything was hunkydory again.
But yes. That is my random garble for today which was surprisingly long even though im improvising.....
Have a nice weekend.

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/28/2003 09:01:00 pm

Thursday, November 27, 2003

MWAHAHA!! I AM THE FLY EXTERMINATOR!!! Lol, in H2 or H3 , bah one of those music rooms, there are five large bluebottle flies that live there. Well, actually, I should say there were five large bluebottle flies. Now that five has become four. Mwahaha! I know it sounds so easy to kill flies but really its not. No, really, its not. Especially when your makeshift fly-swatter is one long length of red felt that’s designed for making piano tops look pretty. Hehe, just picture me running around brandishing a large red sheet around my head. May I quote Hoskins
What can I say? It was a highly emotional moment. After about 2 minutes of frantic jumping and running around in H2/H3 (and I did bang into that table and yes it did hurt) I had killed …. 0 flies.
However, then Hoskins took that opportunity to point out that there was a rather fly-like splodge on the red felt. I looked down to see the unfortunate fly and in my shock threw the swatter in the air and then realising the fly would be, at this point sailing somewhere above me in the air, ran away like the beejeebus had been taken out of me.
Hehe, THAT’S what we do in Music.

However, the highlight of my day has to be French. We were talking about the differences between the older generation and the new generation. Madame Grouille said something like “There are things that you’r more into than I was at your age.”
Then, (and this bit is classic) Stride, without thinking goes “Sex”
*Cue the silence, a shocked look on Madame Grouille’s face and then the oh so hysterical laughter.*

Sacré blue!
Of course you didn’t mean it that way, Stride! LOL

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/27/2003 07:47:00 pm

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Oh.My.God. My mother thinks I am incapable of opening and closing umbrellas by myself. After the horrendous downpour that was the highlight of last night’s sleep, I found myself with a grim prospect of having to go out in it, seeing that I left the house in the early hours before sunrise. (I couldn’t actually sleep, the noise on my window was like having pneumatic drills stroking the glass)
My mother made me bring an umbrella (well she didn’t make me but I did it to shut her up) but unfortunadamente, the only brolly in the house was the one that I’d had since I was lets see…. seven? Yeah, the silver one, with the pink lining… not to mention the large teddy bear picture on the other side! Oh dear lord such a fashion faux-pas lol.
Anyways whilst driving to the bus stop, I was given a step by step guide on how to open the umbrella which was apparently “different” to opening all other kinds of umbrellas. I just looked out of the window and thought about the not so distant future when I would be… - but I’ll stop there now so you lot can create your own ideas.
I got out of the car manage to successfully open the umbrella first time to the surprise of my mother who then drove off satisfactorily thinking she was the better person. However, she forgot to tell me how to close it and considered turning back. Fortunately luck was on my side and all she did was send a text instead after pictures of a confused Zoe failing to get on the bus and being left behind haunted her.
Now that’s a loving parent for you…… : S 1,437,120 ……1,437,119…… 1,437,118 minutes left until I can get out of here. Wooo

Moving on. I AM STRONG!!! HAAAR!!! Ellis was doing the usual lets-whip-greenie-with-a-wire routine and LOL Greenies arm was rather red. However, me being the try-most-things-once kinda gal, voluntarily held out my arm. MWAHAHA!!! Didn’t hurt a bit. ……… And then my sensory neurones kicked in and it started to sting…. and sting …. and sting…. Oh yeah, it went bright red too so it looks like iv been trying to play slice n dice with my skin. However, the important thing is that I SURVIVED!
Actually…. It was quite fun, OMG I’v become one of them!!!! *clasps hands to face and collapses to knees* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Oooooh a lollipop!

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/26/2003 07:12:00 pm

Monday, November 24, 2003

*hums mission impossible tune*
Tomoro we have Citizenship. We are going to see whether we can get one of those books with the black Ward in it. By we I mean me. And by get i mean steal.

Heh today i got a small slip of red paper. Yes i got det.
THough it was from the Canadian. And it involved me and well.... i dont think he would appreciate me publishing his sentiments but heck, i dont care. Prepare to be amazed byt the compelte lack of punctuation and correct grammar.
Zoe appears to find "men lovers" attractive and this can not conitnue if Zoe wishes to "fulfill" her *insert random scrawl* true potential and needs Zoe must concentrate more in "lessons" especially when *these last words can not be made out as they are illegable*
Not bad, seeing that i never knew that he could construct words with more than 10 letters.... Sorry, i like to pick on the Canadian though, its so satisfying.

LOL interesting quote from Ward
"...but recently this one person has become a bit of a cad and a buffoon. One thinks this is possibly something to do with him wanting to bed every girl in the world"
Guess who it was about? First one to guess gets a prize.... lol

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/24/2003 08:12:00 pm

Sunday, November 23, 2003

Also, did you know?
Thirty seven points were scored in yesterdays final.
Subtract 37 from the year 2003 and you get 1966
What happened in 1966?
1966 was the year that England won the football World Cup.
No i bet you did not know that

Also, an interesting joke i saw.
The seven dwarves went off to work in the mine one day when there was a cave in. SNow White appeared to bring them their lunch and when she saw no sign of the dwarves tearfully she cried:
"Is anyone in there? Can anyone hear me?"
Then a voice floated up from the bowels of the mine.
"Australia are going to win the world cup..."
"Thank God!" Snow White exclaimed "At least Dopey's still alive"

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/23/2003 03:55:00 pm
Anyway, im sure most of us are reveling in our delight of winning the WORLD CUP!! HOO YEAH
However, there are some unfortunate ones amongst us who were unwise enough to bet against England winning (and by that i mean STUPID!!!!)
For example, take the case of the Kent cab driver who lost £13,000 after betting on the Australian team to win the Rugby World Cup. (MUNTER!!!)
Forr those of you intrigued (or bored) enough to read said article, its at

However, the cab driver has another reason to smile as he placed a £10,000 bet on England and Australia meeting in the final. With odds at 11/1 he will get a substantial recompense. Ooooh.

The world has gone rugby crazy! By the world i mean England and by crazy i mean CRAZY!! Heeee there are not many good things in this world but winning the world cup is definitely one of them.

Moving on, but still on the rugby theme, i went to go and see The Rocky Horror Show yesterday night. Women in skirts and boots, men in skirts and boots (also, men in nothing but a pair of skimpy underpants.) Like i said, the world has gone crazy. Anyways, it is custom to heckle at the RHS and my all time favourite is now :
"(random singer) I cant wiiiiin - (random heckler) NEITHER CAN THE AUSTRALIANS!!!" POWL! I applauded and whistled my lil heart out.
Actually, im quite surprised at how into it im getting. I watched the whooole match and surprisingly was there til the very last minute. (Then i went shopping yay lol) And whats even stranger was that i was actually watching it FOR the rugby, not for the other reasons which may-not-be-so-obvious-to-those-who-dont-know-me-that-well. *breathes*
Well, actually, for both reasons, but more the rugby than the other one of course. Hehe see my halo smooth like glass? Mess with me and i'll kick your MOVING ON!
Other lines of note are
"I knew i shouldnt have split one brain between the two of them - LIKE BLAIR AND BUSH!"
And of course there were the ruuude ones but i shant put them up because there are young souls out there who's minds are actually not tainted (... yet)
Anyway, i could blabber on about all the guys that were dressed in drag. That includes the old man with a miniskirt and a ponytail. lol, i could, but i wont. Lets just hope the picture comes out.
Hehe, went to Hollises house and her cat!!! OMG!! her cat has a flatulency problem!!! LOLOLOL. I was on the phone and it was on my lap and then ..... well, words wouldnt come out through the laughter. AND it carried on throughout the night it was like, whats that smell? Oh dear god, not AGAIN! Also got a "lovebite" from her other cat as Has likes to put it. A love bite? lol more like a "ow ow ow its got my wrist in its jaws" bite.
Anyway enough about weird cats that fart and bite. Strangely enough they do it in an unsually cute fashion.
Final thought? WILKINSON IS KING!!

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/23/2003 03:34:00 pm

Friday, November 21, 2003

Hmm today has been a good day. The main reason probably being the same reason why I'm now avoiding certain people at school before they burst into song and dance. Well... let's just say that the Cladagh ring on my hand has been turned the other way. (That's for those of you hip enough to know what that means) Lol, strange how I can promote other people's relationships to almost an extent that now people dread getting together, but not my own. Hmm maybe its one of those taste your own medicine things? Heh, I think not.

Anyway, there are many things that added to my good day. At break the dinner lady only charged me 50p for my bacon roll. Duuude. Btw for those of you who aren't aware, my school has ridiculous prices, only the rich can eat there.
Biology was good. We had a test. Woo. However, in the silence I managed to distinctly say the following words: Scrotum. Testicles. Foreskin (each with their appreciative laugh and sniggers to which Mrs Thomas merely raised her head in a querying welsh way.)
Words yet to be said to break the silence: Munter. Booby. Puberty
Thanks go to you G1-ers for those and anymore suggestions would be accepted (seriously, anything to make biology more tolerable.)
In fact today biology was pretty interesting. A girl (who will not be named) had a nose bleed during the test yet did not tell the teacher for reasons unspecified but we guess it was because she wanted to finish the test... See that's dedication for ya. I'm not kidding, in the end I had to tell Mrs T cos it had got so extreme that her tissue was actually dropping blood onto the paper. Niice.
Talking of blood, even Stophig had her turn. Except she smeared blood on the exam paper. Gross. And no it wasn't blood from her nose. And no it wasn't a cut. And NO it was NOT that time of the month. *slap* Lol, how many of you presumed that?
Hehe, well I guess its true when they say that everyone has their own way of marking the exam paper. I prefer to draw random doodles that look like things they'r sooo not. For example an aeroplane I drew on BethJobs arm (it WAS an aeroplane shutup) However, urinating on it really shows the teachers where they stand. Not that iv done that before ... ahem .... OH LOOK AN AEROPLANE IN THE SHAPE OF A ...
Hehe guess who I had for Spanish today? The one and only sub. Mrs Price. Dear god, I swear shes following me. I made a note to be particularly polite and I was. I even pointed out things for her. And I said my pleases and thank you's especially. I think she appreciated it....

Quotes of the day are:
"You look like you've slept with a coat hanger in your mouth..."

"Now girls, will you stop fidgeting with yourselves!"

" *silence* scrotum *silence* ..."

"Can I open the window please? There's a strange smell in the room isn't there Emily? Thank you Mrs Price *sweet smile* "

If you havent noticed already (meaning if i havent already waved it in your face), my finger has a rather attractive bandage on it. Today i got it signed by a load of people and now have a range of interesting words an advice ranging from "SCROTUM Stophig" to "You can never have enough stars"
In case you were wondering how i got it.... Blame it on physical exertion....
We were having carpet-fitters around to carpet the bedroom and my family, being the last-minute people we are, were moving all the bedroom furniture out at half past eleven on a thursday night. Lets just say there was a slight miscalculation of the distance between the mattress, my hand and the door frame.
"Go left, go left.... a bit more... tilt! tilt! *scrape*.... *crunch* ... ow..."
Not pleasant.
Now, I have just finished moving the furniture BACK in. You'd think we'd have learnt from our mistakes. Hoo not in THIS family. Now my finger has a friend to join it. Mr Third finger. Oooooh Hannah Wright my lima bean, we can start a club for people with two deaded fingers!!
Lol fresh material for the girls to graffitti on come Monday. Can't hardly wait right?

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/21/2003 07:48:00 pm

Thursday, November 20, 2003

I was dusty and exhausted and my shoe was steadily reaching melting point as I balanced precariously on the radiator. I looked down. The bin on which I had been standing on had fallen over and it looked like a long drop to the ground…
In case you were wondering what I was doing, I was clinging to the top of a cubicle wall for dear life.
In case you were wondering why I was clinging to said wall for said dear life, it was to check on a friend of mine who was so upset she subsequently locked herself into a toilet.
However it was not just me, Stoph had given me a leg up (hehe why is it not strange to see her name when I'm involved in bizarre possibly dangerous activities?) and she was pottering about in her high heels. Lyndy, being the adventurous one had managed to climb OVER the wall, after precariously dangling off one edge with the high risk of falling into the toilet. Lyndy, I applaud thee, only you can get over such a high wall using a window ledge and a toilet paper holder. (Well, there USED to be a toilet paper holder but now…...)
Anyways, I ended up having to let go of the wall due to the mass exertion that I never knew my body was capable of. Also ended up with attractive bright red hands and dusty handprints in THE most incriminating places. Oh the things we do for friendship. LOL
Anyhow, for those involved, you have all my love and support in sorting it out. (I did chase away some random year 7,8,9s who were going to go up there mwahaha) Much love to you guys.

MOVING ON. Away from my cubicle wall swinging activities. Yesterday I went to that sixth form thingamabob. And no, it didn’t help at all. I went in with:
Eng. Lang/Lit, Economics, G+P, Comms and possibly French or Business Studies
I came out with above list avec Bio, Spanish, Maths, Further Maths, D+T Studies AND Music *shudder*
Stupid Mrs T and her: this brainwashing attempt “will only take a minute” – OR fifteen!
So yeah, going in with six and coming out with twelve. Result. Hooo that was not a complete waste of my time. Well looks like I'm going to have to get out that coin again……….

PS The music block toilets are in slight… disarray after my … session. The door doesn’t shut properly (unless you run at it) thanks to its usefulness as Lyndy’s support. And as for the bin…. hehe, we wouldn’t suggest using it as it seems to have warped under the combined weight of Stoph and I…. 0 ( : l )

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/20/2003 07:42:00 pm

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Today was a great day LOL. First of all, I made Lightbulb boy (he needs a new name) scream like a girl and beg for mercy. Or something along those lines….. Well… *oops the halo is slipping* Shyam tap/kicked him when his back was turned and blamed it on me. (As I if would!) Then John tried to start on me and tried the whole bully circle thing (which I must say is getting old, particularly when you’r in the middle of one ALL the time!) However, I got his arm, twisted it round and dug my “nail” in, sorry, but I have no nails! They’v been cut so NYEH! Then I made him apologise which was only because he shouldn’t have picked on me in the first place (and yes I know we bugged him first but ssh) Hehe, then afterwards he admitted that he’d started on me instead of Shyam because he thought I would be easier. HA! You picked the wrong person to mess with today John! Mwahaha, I feel powerful! Then I get picked up by James and its all over…..
This morning we had an interesting year assembly. Well, actually it was only Mrs Chubb talking about 6th form options (WILL IT NEVER END?) but there was this random butterfly that was flitting about the hall and everyone was watching it. Hehe, it even flew into the audience and it was pretty obvious that all 180 or so of us were enraptured by this tiny insect. Oooooh pretty…. Miss P-C however looked slightly murderous and as though she was going to stamp on it. Hehe it flew behind Mr Sinden and he twitched ever so slightly in his seat. (Of course I was watching that intently of course lol)
Then I had Textiles which was amusing seeing that I managed to tie Stoph and Kinky up with the thread still attached to the sewing machine. Also had fun jabbing people with pins. Well namely Stoph and BethJob but yeah.
However the best lesson was of course PSE. We were doing Citizenship studies with Mrs Dean but today we were subbed by the … irreplaceable Mrs Price. Also known as the woman most resembling a dragon. Let’s see that’s the numerous yellow teeth in random places, the smell of smoke and of course the breath of fire. Or more commonly known as Godzilla breath. Ew. LOL, being the “lovely” class that we are, we decided to be extra nice. Cue Ents and George
“Whats that smell?”
“Did you know that smokers suffer from bronchitis, YELLOW TEETH and they smell?”
“No I did not know that”

Note while I'm on the whole Citizenship thing, me and Hollis were erm.. working and we saw THE spitting image of a certain person we know. So next time you’r reading “This is .. Citizenship Studies” turn to page 90 and you’ll see the very image of Ward as a black person. No Joke, me and Hollis both saw it, as did Robee. *cue the pointing and the random shout of “WHATS WARD DOING IN OUR BOOK?”

Hehe when it got too much for Mrs Price, she decided to have a hu-owge goo at us which resulted in mutters of
“You know, my mother is the type to STAB someone.”
“My brother has this gun….”
However I heard one of the best excuses today. When George got told off for talking (or “mass hysteria” as the fat cats in the AHS reception call it), justification on her behalf was
“Sorry she has spasms…”
LOL I love our class!

PS, Doesnt Mrs Price look like a weird mix between a toad and Mrs Merton?

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/18/2003 07:45:00 pm

Monday, November 17, 2003

Is anyone else doing that Modern Languages Awareness Day thing? Just me then? Woo…. Hehe its being held at Green Park. *wipes tear* Memories.
Good thing is I get to miss a day of school. To do what? Well, I'm not too sure exactly but I want to do Russian! How dude would that be?! We get to choose taster lessons out of a whole load of cool languages including Danish. Sweeeet.
I like Danish pastries….. Yes. Anyways, just a quick blog cos I'm off to the easycinema in a min. Woo cheapness!
PS Nice weather today …. :S

Note, Spangus just told me that The SLow One is doing it. Shat.

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/17/2003 06:03:00 pm

Sunday, November 16, 2003

Oh dear embarrassing situation.
Has this ever happened to any of you lot?
You'r with a parental, or two, maybe an aunt, or an uncle, or any senior member of your family, watching TV or something. Then a rather embarrassing scene comes up, in my case it was two tigers erm... "mating" And no it wasnt one of those 3 second images, it went on... and on ... it even came up again about 5 minutes later.
And this wasnt Animal Planet or anything. It was BBC 2!! You'd think they would leave that til after the watershed or summat, but nooooo.
Well, yeah, that was embarrassing. And also, we were eating dinner too.... Anyone want my potatoes?

Bah AS levels and decisions decisions decisions. Im on the Connexions webby looking at Career info because thanks to my last name, my careers interview will not be until probably next summer. Oh so helpful.
For those of you in my sitch, the addy is


Is there anyone who's actually decided what they want to be and what they want to do. Bar Elsh and her "Im going to have 7 kids, these two are going to be twins and these are triplets, but he's older than her and shes one of the twins..... "LOL bless you Elsh
So many subjects, but we can only pick 4 .... I never thought that I would be missing the fact that I can have 10 subjects .....

BTW, me and Spangus have made a deal thing. Im not allowed to mock him from Monday morning through til Thursday morning..... Hmm that doesnt mean you guys can't though..... psst, if you'r looking for some extra cash, i think i have jobs for you.....Three days, no mocking, no taunting, no teasing.... *sigh* It's going to be a long three days....

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/16/2003 09:31:00 pm
I feel so proud of myself. I typed some random numbers up and I now have pwetty colours. Oooooooooh. Enjoy.
PS 2240!! You really have nothing better to do, do you?

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/16/2003 06:03:00 pm

Saturday, November 15, 2003

Blah, have just come back from House Dance performance. Was absolutely greeeeat!! It was so fun. Our music and lighting was fine apart from the War dance which was suddenly double-time. Quite entertaining seeing that the War dance was already pretty fast. (hehe AND I killed with style, get me, mass murderer in the making!)
The results are as follows:
1.Claydon (no surprise there)

Quite predictable seeing that Missenden and Hughenden almost always get placed.
Next year is our year but I'm not running for house dance captain as I don’t want it as much as the others. Arent I so noble?
Anyways, just thought I oughta put them up as promised to those of you who I … promised…
Oh it was just sooo much fun , I had this hu-owge head rush after I’d done it and was so hyper (yes even more than if I was on sugar – and YES that is possible. Just be glad you weren’t there to witness it – picture me running around whooping and doing karate kicks)

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/15/2003 10:11:00 pm

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Had House Dance today. Must congratulate Machete, Beth Job, Chaz, Elly, Eliza Minelli, and erm... anyone else iv missed out. You all did fantastically.
However mention must og to those almost non-existant hotpants worn by the Claydoners (or ho-pants as iv renamed them :P ) lol i bet Mr Collinson and MR Capstick enjoyed that. hehe Mr Capstick was right behind you guys as well!! They put the Perve in .... Pervert... Yes..
Anyway, my predictions are as follows : Claydon, Waddesdon, Hughenden. BUt special mention must go to Ascott and their ... crop dance... (sorry all you Ascotts but... yeah)
I sported a large blue T on my face until the end of lunch and didnt really understand why i was getting all these looks. Then the penny dropped. lol

Interesting Quotes that i read today in Bio.
Who decides who you marry?
"God decides but you only find out later who you're stuck with"
How do you make marriage work?
"Tell your wife shes pretty even though she looks like a truck"
When is it the right time to kiss someone?
"When they'r rich"

other quotable quotes are
"I wouldnt have sex with my wife, i wouldnt want to be all grossed out"
"Twenty three is the best age to get married because you will have known them FOREVER"

NOTE: The above answers were given by 7 year olds.
Nice to see that they have such a realistic view on life even at such an early age....

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/13/2003 07:40:00 pm

Monday, November 10, 2003

Had an energetic day today. Started off with a morning wakeup call in the bus park in the form of Jim picking me up and spinning round and round .. and round … and round. Yes as you can imagine I was a bit more awake now seeing that my head felt like someone had been trying to detach it from my shoulders. My throat was a bit sorer though from the screaming. Well, shrieking but same difference. It was so staggeringly nauseating that … I wanted to go again. Lets just say that Jim was happy to oblige.
BTW before I forget. All eyes are now on Dave and Scanlers and I do agree you two are cute together lol.
Blah am EXHAUSTED. Why exactly did I do House Dance again? I cant feel my feet and my hand is throbbing after hitting someone whilst doing a complicated move that involved both arms whirling around at hyper speed. However, pain does pay off. I have been promoted from streetwise bad boy to super scary serial killer. Sweet. LOL if you don’t understand, here is my House Dance enlightenment in 30 words. Basically each house is given a stimulus. This time it’s the Holy Trinity. Then the houses all interpret it in their own special way and turn it into a dance. Comprende? Hehe strange how my house managed to turn the holy trinity into mass homicide…

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/10/2003 06:56:00 pm

Sunday, November 09, 2003

LOL just finished my French essay on “Les 4.00 coups” LOL isnt free translation hilarious? I wrote my essay and then translated it to see if it made any sense, I now have:
His/her mother known as il must make the drudgeries and it milks Antoine as a servant but his/her father is more pleasant with Antoine. . I l’aime not. Antoine steals a machine to ècrire and after his/her parents learn, it escapes the adults and it runs to the seaside.
Yes, because they are my impression of the film … of course…Damn it.

Anyways, my uncle and his girlfriend came round today. They brought his famous hot prawn sauce with them and I have tried it before may I say, its hot but just about tolerable. However today I had a sore throat (and NO that does not mean I have an STI – you know who you are). If I ate the sauce it would have resulted in a painful burning sensation in my oesophagus so I declined politely. My mother however (she'd drunk a bit) insisted I try some and after ignoring my desperate plea (by means of a kick under the table) she dunked a load on my plate. I am a very polite girl (contrary to what you think) so finished the lot. Now my sneezles have turned into super stinging sore throat.
Oh dear god I'm so hoarse I sound like a man.

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/09/2003 07:26:00 pm

Saturday, November 08, 2003

Went to MKCentre today, the crimbo display was put up yesterday so I thought I outta go have a look... for some reason... and no I didnt go especially to see Santa in the grotto ahem lol.
LOL theres the hu-owge carousel as usual and I saw this kid start shouting "WHEEEEEEEE!" when his mum put him on a horse thing. Strangely enough, the carousel wasnt moving yet.
Theres a ridiculously great snowman who sings and wiggles. Iv christened him Bob. Hes about 6 foot and hes got eyebrows like windscreen wipers which change his facial expression as if he has a strange muscular twitch .. on his eyebrows... Im presuming BOb is a male. If he were female he would have chosen a better looking scarf.
Anyway I was watching said snowman thinking to myself .. "Happy face, scary face, happy face, scary face.." Hehe remind anyone of a particular D of E knife? .... "Cap screws on, cap screws off, OOOH BLADE... OW!" .... oh dear just when I thought it was all dead and forgotten....

Anyways, so if you'r ever in MKCentre, go see Bob and check out his brows. Bloody hell its quite entertaining. And I know I get amused easily but when you see him in action, his eyebrows go on hyper speed. They'v got a life of their own....

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/08/2003 05:57:00 pm

Friday, November 07, 2003

Hmmm everyone appears to be doing shorts. *contemplates* Nah cant be arshed. lol arsh. Like Father Jack. He was one hell of a dude.
Actually i have already done a short, except it doesnt involve things that really make you think or matters that really... matter.
Its got gore, action, violence, nature AND swear words. Yes, its the D of E Diary

Hehe today i got the signup slip for silver...... i detect a D of E Diary Returns..... Watch out nature, here i come!

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/07/2003 08:12:00 pm

Thursday, November 06, 2003

LOL thanks for reminding me Spangs. When i got out of Bio the first thing i said was
Thats it, iv decided what i want to do. Im gonna be a surgeon person!!
*Cue the unanimous laughter with some shrieks of terror*

Actually im now considering morguist (more commonly known as a mortician) brain surgeon and heart surgeon.... possibly a plastic surgeon too.... *ARGH SILICONE IMPLANTS RUN!!*
LOL as the stolen phrase from K'Smudge goes "The apocalypse nears......"

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/06/2003 08:29:00 pm
Today was ok with a duuuude last lesson. Biology. We dissected kidneys! FUN FUN FUN! Hehe Mrs Thomas was mad to let me go with Stophig cos as soon as we got it I threw it in the air. Hehe is it a bird? is it a plane? no its a flying kidney. BATTLE STATIONS EVERYBODY!! Anyways after I got over the initial thrill, I started on what I was meant to be doing. Cutting the kidney in half. Hehe yes they did give me a scalpel AND scissors AND two sharp proddy things that we were sticking into the kidney as if it was a makeshift pincushion. That was amusing for a bit. Well it was amusing for quite a long bit actually. Then we had a look at the gristly bit called the Medulla (don’t say I didn’t learn anything) and me and Sto had fun trying to detach it from the main part called the Cortex. Then I managed to cut a hole in my plastic disposable glove which was quite funny too as goodness knows what went goodness knows where. Hmm I think the smell of stale piggy wee does something to my state of mind. Ewwey ew. Anyway, after we’d... sliced and diced ... I mean… examined the kidney thoroughly of course, we were told that we had to dispose of it. What a waste, that’s HOURS of fun going straight down the proverbial drain there. (Well who knows where it goes, most likely into those “real meat” burgers in the school canteen – ooh) Talking about the canteen (hehe switch straight to food- nice) the dinner lady said to me, you’r not eating as much today are you ill? LOL and id got a bacon roll, a slice of pizza and some crisps. (It was breaktime) Talk about noticing loyal customers. Maybe I can get a discount….
Anyway, back to the kidney (no I'm not done yet.) At the end of the lesson we had to say bye bye to Mr Kidney (yes it had a name.) Then, we were off to wash up in which I managed to get water all over the desk (how was I to know that if you block the water coming out of the pipe, it’ll burst out of the top of the tap?!!)

Before we put it away, we carved our names in the cortex so now if your burger has ZE on it (the O didn’t come out right) you know whats in it. Happy lunching

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/06/2003 08:12:00 pm

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Well back at school now … ergh, its only the second day and I'm feeling drained already. It must be the school vibe. Hmm this morning I was asleep on the bus (it was 7:45am) and woke up to the sound of unmistakable retching. Oh dear lord. I opened my eyes to see Jim and some other nearby people looking to the front of the bus in dread. Yes, one of the year 7,8,9s had been sick. Now may I remind you that my bus journey is a lot longer than the typical bus journey. And we weren’t even halfway there yet. So for the next 45 minutes we had to stay where we were praying to God that it wouldn’t flow down the bus when we went up a hill. (Apparently it doesn’t, its too viscous – according to Harry)
Great start to the new half term.
Got my progress check back today. Alas, my straight G record has been broken. I got an A in English. For those of you who aren’t familiar with our progress checks, G stands for Good, A stands for Action needed or something like that. Anyway, the A come none other from Miss Milzani for Effort. Apparently I need to “concentrate more in lessons and listen to guidance ya ya ya”
Strange, Chisel's is exactly identical to mine part from the name. Hmm but then again, for someone else, Miss Milzani put “you need to work hard to be of your best” or some random garble along those lines …was it reach of your best? Meh you get my drift. Oh well, must go now and see what thrills my rents have in store for me now …. Will it be the tutor? Or the extra-work-every-day-for-2-months deal? Ho hum, what a choice.
Maybe I’ll give it to them tomorrow ….

Ps For all you G1-ers in my poems essay, STRIDE is now spelt SRTIDE – I don’t care if its easier for her to mark, iv done rhythm before tone so screw you Miss Milzani… I cant believe you gave me an A…. *mutters*

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/04/2003 07:37:00 pm

Sunday, November 02, 2003

For the benefit of ARkansas Joe, when i say Tween i mean ... you know those 8-11 year olds who act older than they should? And not necessarily in a good way, as in VERY young single mothers way. Yes, thats my definition of a tween. ... Also, i saw a programme called Tweens - a doc about young children who were buying makeup and old lady shoes. Or something...
Why? What else would you understand Tween to mean?

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/02/2003 08:57:00 pm
May i add, on a completely different note, my evening at Hollises on Halloween was cool. Her dad dressed up as a skeleton and her mum looked just like the freaky girl from the exorcist. They both went and stood at the roadside in the night and the drivers were like ... hehe 50 points if you get the car to veer into the hedge...
AND on my way over i saw a few grannies dressed up but i dont know where they were going. Or maybe the tweens decided to go as grannies this year? Who knows?

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/02/2003 08:10:00 pm
Mmm I guess good things have to end eventually. It’s the end of the half term, now its back to early mornings, Mrs Gross’ evil stares and Ms Milzani’s incoherent rambles. Hoo yeah. I'm in the mood for debating today .. hmm must be the weather or summat. Topic – Relationships. Yes, currently I don’t think I am one to talk since I am not in one but, at this age what are we REALLY looking for? To be honest, at the moment, I agree - “Its not about Mr Right, its about Mr Right-Now”
Are we truly looking for long term? A friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, is a complete utter hopeless romantic. He actually worships his girlfriend – or his “partner” as he calls her and even tho I have to admit that kind of relationship is quite tempting, its all a bit too much. I mean, they see each other every weekend, as well as every single day as they live in the same ‘hood. He (being the complete utter hopeless romantic he is) sends about a gazillion texts every waking minute of the day discussing their relationship no less ( and yes it does involve talking about a certain subject – I would know after receiving one of these texts by accident , EEW *shudder* I was never the same again)
But, ultimately, isn’t that what its all about at this age? The erm …. physical side of things rather than the emotional side. Or are we in reality looking for a soulmate constantly? I mean, its understandable I guess but in actual fact we are not fully grown flowers yet, we are the young seedlings preparing to bloom into adulthood –wow I sound so insightful, I must have eaten too much…. Anyway ….. I'm all out ………. Comments?

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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/02/2003 07:55:00 pm

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