<$BlogRSDUrl$>
*Names have been changed (slightly) to protect identity
Feedback accepted graciously (no violence involved, i swear)
Disclaimer: All events and proceedings related to this site are fictitious. Any association to current affairs is ENTIRELY coincidental...Completely coincidental
(Ha, that'll keep those with libel in mind happy. or dead)

Saturday, July 19, 2003

Chapter 3: The Long Road to "Sunny-bloody-Brook Farm"
ps Newbies, the other chapters are either down the page somewhere or in the Archives (look to the left)

First of all, we knew that we would probably fall to our spiky, barbed doom if we carried the bags so we threw them all over the fence and hoped that no one would snatch them before we got over. Yes, because of course there’s a high demand in the market for bright yellow camping mats with holes randomly ripped out of the sides. We sent Harriet over the fence first by holding down the lethal points whilst she clambered over. This proved to be a success and soon we had a small yet effective system going as a team. Heh, suck on that Dr Wall! When we had got half of our group over, we realised that we were being watched by people sitting nearby, having a picnic. We looked at them with obvious looks of helplessness but they seemed perfectly happy just watching us amusedly whilst they chomped on lush looking ice cream. After it was clear that we were not even going to get a sympathetic glance from them let alone an offer from them to take us to Green Park in their car, we continued with our struggle whilst cursing them, hoping that they would choke on their ice creams.
Finally, after many tiring minutes of helping each other Group 11 made it over the fence with no fatal injuries or wounds. However, Zoë had to continue the walk with an attractive hole in the back of her trousers but it was decided that the hole was “meant to be there” In fact we realised that Nature had a way of altering all our trousers. We all now had appealing grass stains on our back pockets, wet patches in the most appropriate places and in one particular case, striking brown splotches for which the cows were thanked in a most gracious way.
“Oh. My. God. Look what the buggers left on my trousers. Ew. Ew. Ew. I hate cows. I hate walking. Stupid D of E. Stupid stupid stupid. I want to go home!”
We walked along the canal but unfortunately weren’t joined by any more ducks. It was a shame, seeing that there were plenty of Peperamis left. We came to the main road and found out that we needed to walk down it for 2km or so. 2 km would have been fine in the woods but out on the road there was no shade and the hot sun beat down on us like an invisible weight. We took a deep breath and started walking.
After a few minutes we were passed by a tractor that beeped at us in a most taunting manner. We all sighed wearily and then realised that it was pulling an open trailer behind it. A trailer that could easily fit us all in and could carry us down the road in 10 minutes. As the idea formed in our heads we began to frantically chase the tractor with the intention of throwing our bags on first. However, no matter how much we shouted and waved our hands, the tractor driver ignored us and obviously had no intention of slowing down for us. Our waves and signals suddenly turned into very rude ones and some members of Group 11 took delight in sticking their middle fingers up and shouting after the tractor which slowly disappeared out of sight.
“OY TRACTOR MAN! I HOPE YOU CRASH AND BURN! YOU HEAR ME? CRASH AND BURN!” In reply, the tractor picked up speed and became a small dot on the horizon. There went our free ride. We weren’t even sure if we were on the right lane so we asked a lorry driver who replied with “Sorry, I don’t speak English” in an unconvincing Spanish accent.
Positive that everyone was against us we stopped for a short break even though this was a bad idea seeing that we were along a narrow country lane with lorries rushing past every now and then. However Alexa, Zoë and Danielle wanted to stop for a break and with the most stubborn member, not to mention the most violent member of the group amongst the three (not mentioning any names) it was decided that they were going to stop, no matter what. In other words, the only thing that would make them move was either a passing ice-cream man giving out free samples or a passing ice cream man giving out free samples and money.
So that’s how Group 11 came to be sitting on the edge of the ditch looking very forlorn and helpless. Alexa was tired, we had been walking for a long while. Harriet looked perplexed as she studied the map with an expert air, wondering whether we were on the right road. Ents seemed drowsy, perhaps she hadn’t got much sleep (DOWN TO THE INCESSANT TALKING!) Chrissy had an annoyed look on her face, her hairbrush was somewhere in the depths of her bag and her hair was being ruffled by the wind. Hollie was smiling to herself, perhaps thinking of a certain someone whose name we shall not mention (heheh, sorry Hollie). Danielle was the most weary of us all and was drinking vast amounts of water, which was ironic, seeing that she hadn’t attended to the call of Nature even once. All six of them were sitting in line quietly apart from Zoë who was rummaging in her bag recklessly sprawled on the road. She was probably the only one out of Group 11 who wasn’t thinking about D of E. No, instead she had the most irrelevant intent in her head. Find Food. Eat Food. Be Happy.


ALmost finished!! Chapter 4 -the Final Chapter is soon to be complete!!!


# posted by Unknown @ 7/19/2003 12:37:00 pm
Comments: Post a Comment

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?


Quotable Quotes about the site from the MYNSIL readers


"If i were a tree.... this is where i'd be"

"eeeeeep!!!"

"If watermelons could talk.... "

"I used to watch paint dry until I found your blog, then I found a new meaning of bordem"

"Have actually been to your site now- is good, I think"

"Hell without the pointy things"

"...is very good and not at all uninteresting"

"I thought this was the queue (spelling) for the ice-cream "

"Its wikid"

"indeed i like lol, thats y i rd it wenever summin new comes out lol"

"I like being famousish"

"Your website keeps me sane" - (WTF?LOL)

"Zoe is a jolly good example of English manners and Decency"

"...a secret agent in the happy andrex puppy world who wishes to infiltrate this hapiness and let them see the true light" -thats Raz about me ...

"I really like the link to the immature rude words my favourite is K for Kangaroo Spunk"

"Yes one haas done a Zoe and eaten too many E numbers and now ich bin hyper"

"Shine on you crazy diamond!"